Dreaming You To Me
by ynabolic
Summary: After all is said and done, it didn't end in a happily ever after for the Starcrossed lovers. Just when she thought that everything else has failed, she started dreaming of him and it made her realize that maybe that happily ever after was still possible. Cato/Katniss (slightly AU)
1. Chapter 1

**Dreaming You To Me**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

"Your dreaming self seeks to tell you something your waking ears will not hear"

― Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel's Chosen

**Chapter 1**

They started as dreams.

Katniss would wake up and she'd be dripping in sweat. The dreams were always the same; a light-haired boy obscured in darkness, calling out to her or comforting her. At first, she thought that the dreams were of Peeta, her fiancé and lover but recently, she'd started to notice the noticeable height of her dream man.

She was ashamed of her racing heartbeat and the seeming breathlessness the dreams always rendered her to… even as Peeta slept soundly beside her, an arm draped protectively.

It's been two years since the Capitol fell and unfortunately, despite the vision of the rebellion, the Districts remained in disarray. No one trusted anyone.

The food became scarce as the outliers kept most of their resources to themselves. This prompted the career Districts to attack or others to resort to smuggling commodities across Districts.

The rebellion wanted her to take a stand but after Prim's death the idea of taking up arms was distasteful for Katniss. Only Peeta, with his kind and nurturing personality was able to help her heal, slowly but surely. His patience and understanding was the only thing grounding her to Panem and for that, she will be forever in his debt.

Peeta didn't had it easy. He was tortured by the Capitol and his nightmares were becoming worse. At times, she felt really helpless in this area because she wasn't able to help him, _how do you help someone else when you can't even help yourself?_

In spite of what the rebellion projected to the rest of Panem, Katniss and Peeta's life were far from the fairy tale story that was cooked up. Both of them were living in the rebuilt Victor's village, a modest two-story home. They got up early, Peeta cooked and Katniss cleaned afterwards. She would write in her dream diary and then go out to explore the forest, not to hunt but to just be alone. Peeta understood her need for privacy though at times, she would see him gaze at her disappointedly. After which, she would return for lunch, greeting Peeta at the door with a peck on the lips. Eat again, clean, and repeat for dinner. It was comfortable. Peeta made everything comfortable for her because she couldn't be bothered.

She was content until… until she slept and dreamed…

Dreamed of another blonde-haired man.

Those dreams started six months ago. At first, it was just a silhouette urging her to come to him and then a month after, the outline became clearer as he came closer and closer to her. That's when she noticed his physique. It wasn't Peeta at all.

It was someone different who made her feel weirdly, a bit uncomfortable and giddy at the same time—a most odd combination. But she craved it because it reminded her of what she was before Prim's death.

She would, at times, feel guilty on wanting this stranger's presence in her dreams but this was greatly diminished by the crushing sorrow that was always constant since Prim's death , her Little Duck, and the sole reason on why she volunteered for the Hunger Games.

As she stared up at the ceiling, counting the cracks that appeared above, she couldn't help but feel tired and morose. Another day… just any other day to do what? Nothing.

Katniss was so tired of it all. Of doing and most importantly, feeling nothing. Part of her acknowledged that her relationship with Peeta stemmed from her need to be close to someone that she protected previously. Similar to before, similar to when she protected Prim.

Peeta was a lot like her sister. Gentle and always saw the good in people.

Prim was her tether before and now it was Peeta.

Sighing resignedly, she slowly got off the bed, disentangling herself from Peeta's embrace. She walked towards the bathroom in the nude. Peeta and her were old enough to have this type of relationship and they certainly did it often enough. It made them feel closer together and she knew that it also delayed his nightmares.

The problem was that Katniss looked forward to the sandman's visit while Peeta dreaded it.

Looking at the reflection that was bounced back by the mirror was ugly. Her hair was in disarray and not in a good way. Furthermore, the bags under her eyes were more pronounced, the darkening area in contrast with the lightness of her grey eyes and pale complexion.

"Hey, you…" She whispered to the young woman in the mirror. In the background, she could hear Peeta getting up as well. He crept up behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist. He was too small to be able to see past her head, but he kissed her shoulder blades just the same.

"Hey, beautiful, admiring your reflection? I didn't know that I'm with a vain woman" Peeta tried to joke and she indulged him by smiling. Sometimes, it seemed that he really didn't know her.

"What's for breakfast?"

"Anything… anything that you want" He murmured through Katniss' hair where he buried his face in.

That was another thing; she adored Peeta, truly but at times, she wanted his own opinion. She wanted him to stop her when she's being a bitch and to just be more assertive. If he's displeased with something, he should say it however, it's becoming clearer that all the fight dwindled out of him along with the heat of the rebellion when confronted with her angry facade.

"What do _you_ want to eat?" She asked in return, turning around so that she could look into his eyes.

"Anything that you like is okay with me"

"Well, then try cooking your favorite, I'm sure that I'd enjoy it too" He looked surprised as I said this but nonetheless, started dressing up to go down the kitchen.

Katniss took the time to rinse herself thoroughly. Keeping the water piping hot, she turned her face toward the shower. By the time she got down to the dining table, it's almost time for Peeta to leave. As she looked at the laid out table, she was surprised that Peeta prepared _her_ favorite.

At Katniss' questioning glance, he shrugged "You told me to prepare my favorite and _my _favorite thing is to keep you smiling"

That was sweet but she was slightly disappointed that he didn't take the time to think of _his _favorite. "Are you heading early to the bakery?" She asked as she sat down to eat. Toast, butter, dunk in coffee, and chew.

Routine was the key to recovery. Before, after she was informed of Prim's death, everything seemed too much. There's so many variables unaccounted for and she was swashed with everything. Unpredictability was not a friend of the depressed. So shortly after she and Peeta got together, they went into a routine.

Peeta sat across Katniss and slowly took her hand in his. He knew that Katniss was going through depression still. And he also knew that he was the only one she allowed to get past her shell.

The starcrossed lovers together at last. Katniss was different now, more giving and less hard but not more open. Sure, she opened up to him about Prim but for everything else? She remained a mystery.

In the games, Katniss was very reserved and prior to it, never even looked twice at him but now, he was surprised at her easy acceptance of this relationship.

The breakfast was consumed in silence. That was another thing, Peeta came from a large family with lots of brothers and a nagging mother. Noises were familiar to him and comforting, but with Katniss, everything was silent. She could go the whole day without uttering a word.

"Yeah, my dad wanted me there early for the festive preparations…" He shrugged nonchalantly, already taking his plate toward the counter.

"What preparations?" Katniss asked, slightly confused and she was. Nothing happened in District 12 these days, much less Panem.

"President Paylor wanted to celebrate the freedom of Panem with food and entertainment" Peeta said merrily, clearly excited by this concept. "… here in District 12!"

Katniss scoffed, "There's nothing to celebrate about… the Districts are a mess. No one's cooperating with each other, so what's the point?"

"There's nothing wrong in bringing a little bit of cheer to everyone… but you're right, I guess" He retained that cheerful smile. "Either way, you're still invited, I mean, we're still invited. We were named the guests of honor"

"What!?" Katniss asked, looking pissed off. "Why the hell should I go there? What? So that I could commemorate my sister's death?"

"No! No, no, no, the president didn't mean it in that way. This gathering was meant for Panem. She's inviting a bunch of important people from District One down to District 11, including the Capitol!"

"I am not sitting through _any_ dinner with people that were partly responsible for my sister's death!" She spat.

Peeta looked toward her in consternation and that fleeting look of disappointment was also noticeable. "Let's not talk about this right now…" He said slowly, trying to pacify Katniss' growing anger "At least, until you cool off"

Pecking Katniss once on the lips, he turned and fled. It was never a good idea to confront Katniss when she's in one of her moods.

After watching Peeta running out the door, she huffed in irritation. Katniss knew that she was being unreasonable but the rebellion was still a sore subject for her because until now, she wasn't really sure on whether they were the ones who caused that bomb, which killed her little sister.

Finishing the meal quickly, she washed the dishes speedily and went out to head toward the forest.

…

As dusk settled in the air, Katniss shivered. She stayed inside the forest the whole day not bothering with lunch. Despite the chill in the air, she felt more comfortable now in this meadow than that house, lying down in a patch of grass, her shirt and pants no doubt stained with them.

During one of her many walks, Katniss stumbled upon a patch of land. It was near the lake and the perimeter was surrounded by trees and wild berries. She usually looses herself in the foliage and has resorted to gardening.

She's just taken to growing different types of flowers; with some primroses at the center of it. Primrose flowers were simple blooms despite how difficult it was to grow them. They were small and unassuming but when they blossomed in spring, it was a most breathtaking sight. Their colors of sunshine yellow and at times orange and red reminded Katniss more of candlelight than flames. Sometimes, there was also blue, pink, violet, and maroon because the Primrose flower doesn't discriminate, very similar to her Little Duck.

Aside from the rows and beds of flowers, the reflection of the sky on the lake was also a welcomed sight. From the lake to the trees and sky, this place was limitless. Those were her thoughts when she first stumbled upon it. A secret garden created by nature itself, untouched by people.

Clutching the grass in her hands, she gently tugged some loose. She threw it in the air to watch it gently sway back down. Katniss wasn't normally this sentimental but now that she didn't have to think about where her next meal's coming from, she had more time to reflect. And think she did.

These days, that was all she ever did.

…

By the time Katniss arrived home, Peeta was already inside, pacing nervously across the living room. She went straight up, not bothering to look. Big mistake.

An arm shot out, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her back. "Where have you been!?"

Looking at him stoically, Katniss simply shrugged, "Just _cooling_ off"

"And you needed the whole day to do that?" Peeta asked incredulously.

"Yes" Period. That should've been the end of it but Peeta kept on poking.

"You need to tell people where you're going, it's not a good thing keeping people this worried about you!"

"Funny. The last time I heard, you're just a boyfriend not a prison keeper" She said testily, stepping closely toward him. Katniss height was at par with Peeta's, if not slightly higher so it was not really easy to intimidate her.

"And the last I heard, boyfriends have a right to know if their girlfriends are planning on disappearing for the whole day! I mean, just call Haymitch, Madge or whoever… at least, I'll know something"

Katniss stared at Peeta a bit perplexed "Whatever" Shrugging out of his grasp, she went straight to the bedroom. Locking it behind her. She didn't really want to deal with him tonight because at the back of her mind, she knew that he was right.

After taking a shower, Katniss heard soft knocking coming from the door. As she dried her hair by the bed, she could hear Peeta apologizing profusely.

That's another thing. Peeta seemed to find that 'sorrys' will be enough to patch things up. It wasn't. For Katniss, getting everything out was better than burying the lead early on in the fight.

The immediate end of their fight grated wrong to Katniss. "I'm not ready to talk to you right now. You're not sleeping here tonight"

"Come on, Katniss! I was just worried. I've already apologized… just let me in and we can sort everything out" He pleaded through the door.

Katniss didn't deign to answer him but simply turned off the lamp beside the bed. That response should be enough. After another five minutes of him constantly asking forgiveness and wanting reconciliation, he at last, gave up.

She closed her eyes at this and slowly drifted to dreamland, today, more than anything, she wanted to be back with that stranger in her dreams.

_Opening her eyes, she was surprised that she's still inside her bedroom, however, instead of Peeta beside her, it was someone else. _

_Groaning softly, he nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. "What are you doing?" She asked and was astonished by the playful quality in her voice. _

"_Smelling you… you smell like…" He sniffed for effect "beef, wait no, ummm prime steak, yum!" And then, he proceeded to nip at her neck_

"_Shut up!" She swatted at his shoulders. "Like you smell any better?" _

"_I do! You told me so before, you said that I smell like clean snow" _

"_I never said such a thing!" _

"_Yes, actually, you did"_

"_Did not."_

"_Did"_

"_Did not"_

"_Did! And infinity" He shouted the last word triumphantly._

"_You're such a child sometimes" She scoffed, elegant eyebrows titling down to reprimand him._

"_What!? Like you're any better with those swats everytime we argue. What are you, two? Sometimes, I'm half expecting you to shout 'cooties' when seeing me"_

_Katniss rolled her eyes at him "Whatever"_

"_What the hell does that mean, 'Whatever'? I never did get that or was that just something girls say when they can't think of a proper come back?"_

_Hearing his response, she smirked. Really different from her earlier confrontation with Peeta… Peeta. Katniss suddenly felt guilty. She squirms a bit in shame. _

"_You're thinking about him, aren't you?" He looked serious at once, turning toward her. Sliding his large body to the side to lean an arm up to prop his head at, he continued to gaze at her intently as if looking for something. _

"_What?" She asked a bit uncomfortable, also positioning herself on her side so that she can look at him._

"_You always have this look when you're thinking about him…the one who's with you when you wake up" He explained. He delivered it lightly but she could see the corners of his eyes tightening. _

_That, in itself, was a revelation. It seemed that he was also aware that this was simply a dream. We both were aware that the other was simply a figment of the subconscious mind. _

"_Peeta always saves me…" Katniss whispered, leaning her head back, she stumped her head backwards a few times at the headboard. "When I was young, he was the reason that I survived… that bread was more than a burnt pastry, because more than the sustenance, it gave me hope and now… with Prim gone, he's become my anchor" She moved slightly away from him "by doing this, I'm betraying him"_

_He looked back at her with mournful eyes masked through low turned eyebrows. _

_Yet, still evident at least to her. For the first time since their meeting six months ago, the young man beside her looked vulnerable. _

_At last, he sighed resignedly and muttered to himself for than to me,"It's not time yet… but soon, Katniss"_

_Cocking her head to the side, she squinted at him "What do you mean?"_

"_Don't worry, when the time comes, you'll know it" He smiled beatifically and then asked me to lie down again. She positioned herself farther than necessary but nonetheless, succumbed to that deep slumber that only he can incite in me. _

Katniss woke up wide-eyed and gasping. Looking to the left and then right, she panicked and got up to look for Peeta. The floor boards were cold and it bit to the soles of her feet. She mostly ignored it, tracing her steps carefully toward the other bedroom.

Opening it a slither, she looked bewildered at seeing the empty bedroom. The sheets looked as if it was never slept in. Turning around, she retraced her steps back toward the stairs heading downward.

It was only 3AM but she had to see him now just the same, if just to ease some of the guilt gnawing in her gut.

Katniss spotted him on the couch, sleeping soundly. His small compact body curled around a throw pillow and his heavy eyebrows scrunched as if in pain.

She knew then that he's having a nightmare.

Nudging him gently, Katniss saw his eyes blink open in terror—a relived time during the Capitol. Upon seeing her face, however, his features suddenly broke out into a huge smile, opening his arms, she slid into his embrace.

After whispering 'I love you's' and 'sorrys' Peeta went back to his uneven sleep. In contrast, Katniss stayed awake until the morning rays filtered into the kitchen.

During breakfast, they discussed the feast yet again and Katniss agreed to go with him. She knew that her sudden acceptance was brought about guilt but how can she explain to Peeta that she was basically cheating on him with some figment of her imagination.

A young man whose face was still obscured to her waking eyes. She couldn't very well approach Peeta with the request to sketch the mystery man. Katniss could picture their conversation now, _"Peeta, can you help me draw him?"_

"_Who, Katniss?"_

"_The man from my dreams but that's not you" _and break. Peeta would no doubt panic and furthermore, demand who the man was.

Unfortunately, she doesn't know herself.

…

Two days later and the preparations for the feast were in full swing. People scurried about and bumped into each other. Katniss stared indifferently as colors upon colors were hanged in the town square. Red, orange, and yellow—flames, flames for District 12, the residence of the Girl on Fire.

Women hovering over shops that displayed the rumored best fashions. Men, carrying tools to build the stage and children practicing songs and dances for the later entertainment.

To her, everything just looked too overdone. Katniss was jolted from her musings as a shoulder bumped gently onto hers. Looking at her side, her eyes widened at seeing a very dear friend. "Cinna" She whispered. Hooking an arm around his neck and embracing him tightly in greeting. Of all the people in the Capitol, Cinna was the one she mostly missed. He's decked in his usual black ensemble with gold touch-ups on his eyelids.

"I almost didn't recognize you, what happened to the Mockingjay?" He looked displeased with her appearance, stepping back, he circled her form assessing, tapping a finger to his lips and knitting his eyebrows in concentration. "You look thinner, whiter, and definitely more..." Cinna looked for the right word "aha! Haggard!"

Katniss looked a bit offended but then broke out into a small smile "That's what happens when you don't have a dedicated stylist team at your beck and call" She showed her drab attire to full effect, much to Cinna horror. Katniss was wearing a lose black sweater that almost swallowed her form, her dirty cargo pants, paired with her trusty chaffed boots. No sequence or silk, just plain old thin cotton.

"Well, we can't have that! I will not have my masterpiece appearing before the whole Panem in one of those dreadful gowns that this town is proudly marketing as the 'latest fashions'" Cinna air-quoted the last two words in disgust, clearly unimpressed with District 12's resident dressmaker.

"It's been a long time, Cinna, I've missed you…" She said, scuffing her boots back and forth in nervousness. For Katniss, Cinna was like the fond uncle that she never had. During the war, Cinna lent a listening ear to her troubles and consoled her from afar after Prim's death. During those dark days, Katniss was still in denial of her death until one day, a package came, wrapped in bright yellow paper and tied with a royal blue string labeled _'For the candlelight that brought on the fire'_. Inside was a gown made of the softest material that she'd ever held, an empress cut styled dress with a modest neckline and small twinkling sequences at the hem. It was the dress that Prim was buried in five days later. Yet, all throughout the service she couldn't help but think that it would've been better if Prim were alive as she wore the dress.

Katniss squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying to will away the tears that threatened to spill over. She whispered her response to Cinna "It's nearing lunch, Peeta'll be worried. Let's go to the house" As she looked up, she saw Cinna gazing down at her pityingly.

It was almost too much because Cinna was the first person who ever saw her as the Girl on Fire. For him to be looking at her as such was devastating. Katniss turned away first.

Cinna was perplexed at this person in front of him, before, Katniss would've stared him down for giving her such a look. Yet now, she turned away. And for the first time, he saw a broken person instead of the Girl on Fire. Previously, he has heard rumors of the Mockingjay's emotional crash. Much to his shame, it was the main reason why he stayed away during her sister's funeral— because he didn't want to see Katniss that way. Like everyone, Cinna started to see Katniss as the embodiment of strength, hope, and new beginnings. To see her weak would break the whole nation.

It was no wonder President Paylor asked, _no_, begged him to do this. To show the people that the Girl on Fire still burned strong. But Paylor didn't understand one vital quality, the dress and flames didn't make up the Girl on Fire, it was the look in her eyes that did; that determination, drive, and hunger to live and to protect.

There's no trace of those qualities in this girl now.

…

Katniss' house was small; a narrow two-story house with white picket fence, white washed walls with daffodils lining the boundaries. Cinna half expected a dog to run out of the house, it was so picturesque; the average suburban living.

And so totally wrong for the girl beside him.

As they stopped by the gates, Peeta came running out. Always cheerful in the daylight, he waved wildly at them to come in.

"What are you guys doing? Come in, come in" Peeta invited cheerfully. As Cinna entered the house, the aroma of freshly baked bread permeated the air. The sweetness and sour combination of the yeast and butter evident; it reminded him of Peeta but _not_ Katniss.

From the cheerful looking plates to the curtains hanging in the living room. A table just good enough for four laid out with the plates with yellow and blue etchings on the borders.

Katniss sat down silently while Peeta bustled about the kitchen, checking the stove, bringing out the juice from the refrigerator, and placing the last touches on the roasted chicken, all the while keeping Katniss in his peripheral view. He reminded Cinna of a doting mother hen.

However, Katniss remained unresponsive, she would occasionally smile at Peeta to reassure him but otherwise remained indifferent.

The meal itself was even more bizarre, Peeta talked _a lot_ while Katniss nodded and gave him that smile that was really starting to freak Cinna out. From his correspondence with Haymitch, he made it sound as if Peeta's reviving Katniss back to her original self. If this was the definition of improvement to the former mentor, then Cinna was scared to even contemplate how Katniss looked before.

Taking a fork, he started to eat as well, only to be interrupted as Peeta steered the conversation back to the festival.

"So, what will Katniss be wearing, Cinna?" He asked eagerly, taking a roll from the basket and slathering it with butter.

"Oh, I don't know…Katniss is really a complex person, I try to match my designs to her personality" _and right now, I don't like the vibes she's leaking out, might as well dress her in mourning black_, Cinna added silently to himself.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Katniss' lips twitch as if she's guessed his thoughts. Peeta, on the other hand, remained oblivious.

"Yes, I know what you mean… sometimes, I bake my bread based on her moods but it always comes out burnt! You know? Because she's the girl on fire!" Peeta said cheerfully, unaware of the darkening in Katniss eye.

The room felt as if it dropped a few degrees.

Peeta continued unaware, "Well! You still have five days for it"

"Oh, I know… but Peeta, I already have yours ready and I think that it would just be perfect"

The boy looked down in embarrassment, still horribly shy when others praised him, it was one of his most endearing qualities. "Well, I could just wear anything really. The clothes you designed for me back in the Capitol still fits… so…"

Almost imperceptibly, Cinna saw Peeta's wince. _Oh_, it seemed that since the Capitol, Peeta's height never materialized. He was 16 years old then and was slightly higher than Katniss, now however, Cinna was starting to see the height difference. Even with those flat boots of hers, Katniss trumps him by an inch in the least. _Okay_, then Cinna will just have to adjust Peeta's shoes and cut down on Katniss' heels—couldn't have the starcrossed lovers looking disproportionate.

"Ha! I couldn't have the starcrossed lovers appearing like common people… people already associates the two of you with my designs, couldn't have my models appearing in old clothes!" Cinna exclaimed in mock offense.

The rest of the meal was filled with Peeta chatter and Cinna tried to keep his end of the conversation up to compensate for Katniss' continued silence.

Before, Katniss blazed through the crowds, always getting noticed even without the make up and costume but now, she seemed to disappear to the background.

It was a heartbreaking sight.

…

**End of Chapter One**

By the way, this is a Cato/Katniss fic. If you've read my other fictions, you'd know that I'm a dedicated shipper of the two.

Anyway, this'll be another long one but will definitely not exceed 100K words… I hope.

Still writing the Gladiolus finale when this thought suddenly came to me and I just had to write it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

"That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt"

― John Green, _The Fault in Our Stars_

**Chapter Two**

The festival was just what District 12 needed. At least, that's what Peeta's been saying for the past few days. And for a moment, it truly seemed that way. The busy streets were awashed with colors as pedestrians loitered about admiring the banners draped across rebuilt stores and the twinkly lights that are hanging crisscrossed across the town square.

Frankly speaking, District 12 has never looked as good as it did now.

Katniss has been walking around town for a while now, looking for Cinna. She was informed earlier that he's been overseeing some of the decorations. Clearly appalled by the initial color combination. Searching around, she spotted him talking animatedly with the head coordinator near the former Mayor's house. The coordinator was from District One and has been hustling around busily for a fabric there, a loose wire here, and pastry tasting. She was a hefty woman with too much mascara but otherwise looked friendly enough.

As she approached, she saw them turning toward her and exclaiming "Aha! Here's our guest of honor!" The District One woman's eyes lightened and her cheeks puffed out as she smiled warmly at Katniss "ready for tonight? Bet you're excited on the upcoming party, Peeta said that he's been really looking forward to seeing your attire" She waggled his eyebrow suggestively.

Katniss shrugged in response "I guess so, better than the usual routine here, I guess…"

"Oh, it will be! There're games, but _not_ Hunger Games of course" she added quickly "food, lots and lots of food! And musicians" The more she talked, the more hand movement, she was gesturing wildly here and there at this booth to that. "…and our dear President Paylor will also be in attendance!"

"Wow, that sounds huge" Katniss said dryly, not sounding enthusiastic at all. At the corner of her eye, she could see Cinna looking at her in disapproval. _What the hell do they want from me? I'm already attending._

The party planner remained oblivious, she clapped thrice at Katniss' response "It is! Oh my goodness, the planning alone took my team 30… wait no, 38 days just to finish the layout. Everyone who's anyone will be in attendance"

"Oh… well, can I steal Cinna here for a second? You know me… need to look my best when greeting our guests later" Katniss said, already steering Cinna away from the overenthusiastic coordinator.

"Of course, of course, we can't have the Girl on Fire late for the opening ceremony!" We both thanked her profusely as both Cinna and Katniss went in the other direction.

Cinna looked disappointed again "I would have been more grateful if you didn't make fun of that woman… she's been really excited to meet you, Katniss, the least you could do is repay that"

"Repay what? I've repaid Panem aplenty, especially District 12, just look around that corner and you'll see hundreds of graves, all paid in blood for the success of this rebellion!" Katniss shook off Cinna's hand "I just came here to ask on the dress… is it ready?"

"It will be, but Katniss you really need to stop hurting yourself_ and _others for what happened to Prim. It was tragic, yes but people here do love you and they're willing to overlook a lot of your faults just to be with you… don't ruin it"

This was too much, now it's coming from Cinna. The one person that she thought knew her better than anyone. Just the day before, Peeta has been slowly cajoling her into joining the festivities but she refused. Right now, Katniss couldn't bear it. "You're here to help me with the dress, why not just get right to it?" After which, Katniss left Cinna standing in the living room. He looked on sadly as she ascended the stairs, her back straight and expression blank.

Cinna knew that he pushed too hard. It was something that Peeta warned him about. _Don't push her, Cinna, she's fragile right now_, it's just that it was really hard to bear seeing someone so strong act like this. Katniss needed a wake up call and it seemed that Peeta or him are incapable of doing that.

Katniss was silent until she reached the bathroom, there, she locked herself in and slumped tiredly down the floor. The bathroom tiles were cold and bit into the exposed flesh of her legs but she just didn't care.

After five minutes of self-loathing at her actions, she stumbled almost drunkenly toward the tub. Filling it with hot water up to scalding, she slowly immersed herself in the steaming bath. Katniss leaned her head back and wished for sleep.

"_Hey, wake up" A disjointed voice spoke. Shortly after, it was accompanied by hand that gently shook her awake. Opening one gray eye, she was unsurprised at seeing the dark stranger of her dreams. _

_Looking down at once, she breathed easily at seeing that her clothes were with her. "How did I get here?" Katniss asked shakily, leaning both elbows on the ground to prop herself up. _

"_You slept" He said simply._

"_And thank you, Mr. Obvious" She said sarcastically, scrunching her nose a bit in distaste._

_He looked at her weirdly "Have you always been this moody? Or is it just that special time of the month?" his hands gestured toward her lower body._

_Flushing in embarrassment and anger, she turned away from him to lay down again "If this is what I'm getting, I'd rather take it from the real world"_

_Deep laughter came from the other side, turning around, Katniss saw him laughing and rolling a bit away from her striking hand "What? They finally called you on your shit? Stop whining, princess, you're not that special… people lost a lot during the war but they're making the best out of it. You should too"_

"_You don't understand, my little sister is dead!" Katniss shouted. _

"_And so are the number of siblings from other families throughout Panem… or have you forgotten the rebellion? You think that killing President Snow and then killing Coin solved everything? Newsflash, it didn't" Now he's looking down at his hands, uninterestedly checking his nails._

_She remained silent, contemplating "But I'm in pain… and I don't know how to stop it" Shaking her head morosely, "and I want it to… I don't want to feel like this anymore__" And it's true, Katniss didn't want to be bitter anymore, she didn't want people to look at her as if she's a broken toy. _

"_You're allowed to grieve, Katniss, but don't let it consume you. Prim wouldn't have wanted you to…" He said quietly._

"_You don't even know her… how could you say that?" Katniss spat accusingly, her eyes shooting sparks from those gray depths. _

_He met those angry eyes impassively and whispered "True, I don't, but I figured that someone who inspired so much love from someone like you has to be special and kind… a very kind girl, at that" _

_She was stunned by that response and could feel the tears leaking out the corner of her eyes as she bobbed her head up and down in agreement, "She was…" Katniss whispered brokenly "she really was… a very kind and very special little girl. As much as I took care her, she also took care of me"_

_And Prim did, whenever Katniss had to pull an all nighter in the woods, upon arrival, she would always see Prim sitting in their cold living room waiting for her with hot tea that she's plucked from the neighbor's plants. Whenever Katniss was scraped or bruised, Prim would be the first one to tend to her, hovering like a mother hen. Just remembering those times caused the tears to pour out in earnest. Katniss was wheezing when she felt a hand stroking her head. _

_She looked up in astonishment "You've dedicated your whole life to her… it must be devastating to have something that precious stolen"_

"_I don't care anymore" She breathed in deep, trying to stop the wheezing noise coming from her throat. _

_He looked at her silently, those blue eyes, wait blue eyes? Staring intently at her grey ones "No, you still care, you just need to feed that drive again, Katniss" _

"_Who are you?" She asked exasperatedly, he's called her Katniss plenty of times but she's still confused on his identity. It was frustrating. _

"_Let's just say that I'm a former… friend? No, wait, that's not right. A former… tribute shall we say?"_

"_Okay, first and foremost, do you know how many tributes there are that was blond and blue eyed? I'd have to go back to the history books just to find you… Just tell me your name!" Katniss demanded, now grasping his wrists. _

_He tapped at his chin playfully "I could…but really, this is more fun" He smirked and it looked so familiar "at least for me, that is" _

_And those were the last words he said before Katniss was yanked from her nap._

"Katniss, Katniss" Someone was shouting through the bathroom door, banging loudly at the wood.

Feeling slightly disoriented, she shouted to Cinna that she was okay. "I'll be out in a minute, just wait downstairs"

Scrubbing fast, she yanked the bathrobe off the rack and hastily put it on. Still rubbing the towel over her hair, she was greeted by Cinna pacing across the room along with Peeta who was slumped on the edge of the bed.

"What were you doing in there, Katniss?" He asked frustratedly.

"Taking a bath, why, isn't it obvious?" She asked nastily.

"No, it isn't. You've been in there for more than three hours, the opening ceremony is starting an hour" Cinna reprimanded.

She was about to respond just as nastily when Peeta spoke in a subdued voice "What's happening to you, Katniss?" He whispered brokenly. As broken as she felt. The guilt that gnawed earlier in her gut ballooned until it clogged her throat.

Swallowing hard, she looked down at her feet and clenched both fists "I'm- I'm- sorry. It won't happen again… I just got really tired and lost track of time"

Astonished by Katniss' apology, Peeta's demeanor changed dramatically. He smiled at her, proud that she's able to admit her mistake "That's okay, we just need to get ready, quick!" After hugging me hard, he ran out toward the other bedroom, shouting something about wanting to be surprised when he sees me.

"That boy should really get more than a medal…" Cinna whispered from behind me.

"I know" Katniss said softly, still looking a bit ashamed at her actions. Turning slowly to face Cinna, she shrugged in helplessness. "So what now?"

"Now, we transform you back again to that Girl that I fondly remember from way before…" He whispered, crouching down and bringing out a large suitcase. "I was afraid that you wouldn't be able to pull this off, but after this event, I think you'll do just fine" Whipping out the gown, Katniss was momentarily distracted with the glitters it produced.

The first thing that she noticed was that it wasn't red, it was colored gold. Gold silk that hugged her curves, with sequence, beadings and gold colored feathers bunched up at the bottom, the front of her dress was decorated from her shoulder down to her hips with a carving of the mockingjay; the neckline was low with the bodice hugging her chest and accentuating her high breasts. At the back was a long train of chain-like cloth… dragging on the ground like fallen wings.

It was the most intricate and dazzling gown that Katniss has ever seen. "This was supposed to be the your attire after winning against the Capitol but after what happened… and you never appeared in the camera again, I simply stored it"

Walking closely toward the gown, Katniss touched the materials shakily, wary that it might crumble beneath her hands "It's breathtaking, Cinna" She whispered "and thank you."

"Well, as your fiancé said, we only have so much time to prepare, better get to it!" He pushed her in front of the bedroom mirror, freeing the tresses and blow-drying it fast. He used an iron for the bottom so that the top remained straight but the ends were softly curling in.

Her make up was also shaded using gold highlights. Her lips, were painted a deep red, the only different color to her whole ensemble.

Katniss looked at herself in the mirror and was astonished at the person staring back. "This… doesn't look like me…" She whispered in awe, touching the mirror reflecting the dazzling young woman.

"Oh, but it is you, Katniss" Cinna said picking up her tresses and deciding it lift it up. He slowly threaded gold chains through her hair and swept it up in an elegant chignon but with strands falling on the sides of her face. "This is the you that people see…"

Katniss looked at Cinna in gratitude, smiling one of her more genuine smiles. That small shy one followed by an embarrassed shrug. He looked straight into her eyes and acknowledged her penance at her earlier behavior.

Peeta's shout from downstairs jolted them back to the time, "We're gonna be late! Come on!" Cinna's expression turned wicked and he asked her to stay here for a while.

Going downstairs, Cinna explained to Peeta that Katniss was just finishing up and that she'd be ready soon. Given that signal, she started to walk out of the bedroom.

Hand on the walls, she took care not to trip on the hems of the gown. Afraid that she might ruin it. At the top of the stairs, she could see Peeta turned away from her and talking with Cinna. "Oh! There she is" he exclaimed, putting both hands on Peeta's shoulder and turning him fast toward my direction.

His reaction was almost comical, his mouth flew open and he was gaping wide-eyed at her. "Wha- who- I mean, Katniss!"

Smirking, she slowly descended the stairs, still looking intently at him. Peeta was rendered speechless. These past few months, Katniss could hardly care about her appearance so her sudden transformation was really well… a transformation!

"You- you- you look… I really have no words to do you justice" He said stuttered absolutely gob smacked by the vision coming down to him. To walk into town with this creature was an honor, in that ensemble, Katniss really did resemble the savior of Panem.

The Mockingjay.

Crooking an arm toward her, she looped hers around him and they were off.

…

**End of Chapter Two**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

A/N Cato's death here is similar to the one in the movie. He fell but Katniss didn't shoot him dead.

"Each meeting occurs at the precise moment for which it was meant. Usually, when it will have the greatest impact on our lives."

- Nadia Scrieva, _Fathoms of Forgiveness_

**Chapter Three**

People were parting as if divided by an unforeseen force as Katniss and Peeta made their entrance. The moonlight reflected on Katniss' whole form, from the tops of her hair to the tips of the shoes that she wore.

She looked refulgent… a vision in gold. It also helped that Katniss was considered the savior of Panem.

Whispers started, her name chanted out by the crowd until it turned deafening. People were almost crying upon seeing their Mockingjay.

Katniss was truly loved by all, even the Capitol crew were in awe.

Each of her steps were followed until she reached the podium wherein President Paylor stepped down from her seat to greet her—a sign that the Mockingjay was higher than political titles.

Ironic how she was the only one unaware of the power she wielded. A simple signal or order and Katniss could raise armies. It was really tragic that she preferred to be on the sidelines now.

_What a fucking waste…_ Cato couldn't help but think. If the girl couldn't take a bit of tragedy then she doesn't deserve the adoration of these people. But since most of these _bugs_ are as pathetic as her, I guess you couldn't really expect more.

He continued to observe from afar. She looked better and in a way, worse now; much better than the District 12 trash that volunteered in terms of looks, although, the flat sheen in her eyes might not be the work of the lights.

It took a while for him to guess that look but then again he should've recognized it from the start. It was the same look that greeted him every time he looked in the mirror.

Haunted.

It looked better on her as morbid as that sounds.

Cato stayed near the pillars erected to create a tent-like roof where the more important people from around Panem were seated comfortably.

Circling slowly to watch the entrance of the couple, he kept his gaze directed at the Girl on Fire, ignoring her escort completely.

So it wasn't a surprise that she looked straight toward him five minutes later… that was his intention after all.

She froze at the sight of, her eyes widening in dawning horror while he responded in kind by throwing her a feral like grin.

_Ah, there it is._ He almost preened in triumph. It was nice to know that he could still incite fear in those grey depths. Her hand shook and her whole demeanor changed in that split second, pausing in the middle of greeting the representatives from District One.

He saw Peeta react at once, supporting the Girl on Fire and stopping as well to look in his direction, he turned quickly bleeding back into the shadows.

It was just for a second… after all, it's not their time yet. Later tonight should be soon enough.

…

Katniss was shaking. _Did she really see that right?_

Her first appearance in public since Prim's death and she's already seeing ghosts. Beside her, Peeta kept asking what was wrong but she couldn't answer. Katniss couldn't trust her eyes with that vision.

It was a monster.

A monster that was supposed to have died three years ago but she knew that grin and she knew those glacial-like eyes that prodded her like a lance.

Shaking her head in negation once again at Peeta's question to retire early, she headed straight toward her assigned seat. It was made of heavy oak with Mockingjay carvings, too overdone and too fake for her taste but it seemed that the rebellion has resorted to theatrics to gain the citizens cooperation so she'll let it go… for now.

Throughout the feast, she kept looking toward the District Two party but she only saw the previous Victors, no sign of the blonde-haired brute.

"Katniss, Katniss…" a disjointed voice kept interrupting. Soon, a hand followed, gently squeezing her arm to get her attention.

Whipping around fast, she saw that it was President Paylor who was asking her a question. "Are you alright?" She asked gently.

"Ummm… What? I'm sorry, my mind wandered off for a second there…Uhh, but can you repeat the question?" She asked a bit shakily still moving her eyes around the room inconspicuously trying to spot that man.

"Do you think you'll be able to do that tour now?" Paylor repeated patiently, her eyes showing hope that Katniss consent.

"I'm sorry… but I can't… not yet"

"It's been two years, Mockingjay" Deliberate use of her title was a sign that the president wanted Katniss to remember that she had a duty to the people of Panem.

Unfortunately for her, she's grown immune to such tactics so she simply shook her head once and went back to gazing at the attendees.

Katniss could hear Coin's usual huff of irritation to her left with Peeta apologizing profusely for her behavior.

She started to tap at the table irritably. The music was too loud and the people in attendance weren't really mingling. All of them were sticking to their respective seats, no one was trying to get to know the other.

_This wasn't the Panem she pictured after the rebellion._ As Katniss thought this, she noticed one old man surrounded by the modified Peacekeeper uniform. After the rebellion, all of the Peacekeepers either went back to District Two or offered their services to wealthy individuals around Panem. Most were still concentrated within the Capitol borders.

Aside from the sign proclaiming 'Capitol' the old man sitting at the chair was definitely from the Panem central. His ostentatious wardrobe could testify to that fact and the five avoxes likewise scurrying around him was also further testament to that.

Avoxes were freed after the war but majority were confused and scared as to what their new duties would be in the new Panem and as such, they also stayed with their masters. But it has to be of their own free will.

The fact that this man was able to garner that much loyalty bears remembering—he could either be very rich or very kind. Judging from the way he interacts with his servants, she'd say that it was both.

He looked okay enough, Katniss judged his age to be between mid-80s to early 90s. The lines around his eyes and mouth were not cosmetically erased and his white hair looked natural. In fact, if he wasn't dressed in that attire, Katniss would think that he wasn't really from the Capitol.

As she turned to look the other way, she was arrested mid-turn when the old man turned fully to her. Those eyes… those eyes were similar to that monster.

Glacial blue.

Those eyes were too unique for this to be a coincidence. Maybe she _did_ imagine that brute earlier. Yet, this man had kind eyes. Glacial blue that mesmerizes _not_ repels. They weren't hard but smooth and liquid. Flowing.

The complete opposite of the only other person she knew who had those eyes.

"Katniss!"

The loud exclamation jolted her and she turned to look at the source. Paylor was again addressing her.

"What?" she asked a bit sharply.

"What's gotten your attention?" Paylor likewise turned to look at the point of attention. Her eyes widened when she spotted him "Oh… the Capitol party." Nodding her head in that direction, "That man's name is Nico or simply 'N' he's one of the richest in the Capitol, which basically makes him doubly rich compared to the rest of Panem. We've been trying to get his cooperation and financial support in reviving Panem… unfortunately, the man is a bit… eccentric"

"He's from the Capitol, of course he's eccentric"

"No… even by Capitol standards, he's still considered weird. If he wasn't such a great inventor, then I'd no doubt that Snow would've placed him under a mental institution… as it was, N's family was too well connected to the Capitol elite _and_ selected District families for him to ever throw him off"

"If he's friends with the Districts then you should've no problem convincing him" Katniss answered after taking in the information.

"That's what we thought but when we approached him about giving up some of his holdings, he refused"

"So why not just take it from him? Can you honestly say that with the whole District behind you that you can't?" Katniss replied astonished.

At this, Paylor looked down and when she replied, it was with a grimace "I- I proposed that we do that but a number of Districts balked. It seemed that majority of their wealth _is _still connected to that man. A direct assault would just cause civil unrest… _further_ civil unrest"

Katniss continued to observe the man and as she did so, she saw one other avox hurrying toward his direction and gesturing wildly at the closest Peacekeeper.

"What was his reason for not giving it up?"

"That's the weird thing, when we asked, he told the negotiating party that he's saving his legacy for his heir"

"Well, that doesn't seem too bad…"

"No, no you don't understand, decades ago, his daughter got kidnapped. She was never returned…"

The old man called 'N' was now on his feet and hurrying toward the back of the tent.

At Katniss' continued look of bewilderment, Paylor pointed out, "There is no heir"

…

"Cato!" He turned his head sharply, watching his grandfather make his way toward him. Running a shaking hand through his blonde hair, which was now falling down his eyes instead of swept up, he waved weakly back still feeling the strain of the hike.

His grandfather clutched at his hand, running his fingers up and down his arms to check "You're not up to your full strength yet, why don't you go back to the train?" He gestured toward his servants to escort him back.

Shaking his head, he reassured him that he was okay "I wanted to witness this… to see them again" Cato said a bit breathlessly. The medicines were still working through his system.

"You need to get back to the train! Look at you, you're as pale as the servants from Snow's mansion" His grandfather reprimanded, looking at him sternly, he nodded to his servants "Get him inside the chamber, he needs to recuperate…" as Cato tried to protest but his grandfather shushed him yet again. "The sooner you get into that chamber, the sooner you can come back here" He said softly in compromise.

Cato scowled darkly at the old man in front of him. Back in the Capitol, they called this man simply as 'N' it was also the name of his conglomerate. "Now, none of that! I will not have you throwing a fit again in front of these people"

"I'll come back… I'll- I'll definitely come back later" his breathing was becoming erratic. The servants surrounded him and draped one of his arms over her shoulders to support him.

"Alright, you may _if_ and that's a very big if the machine says that you're up for it, it's not up to you but your health monitors… so take care of yourself" He said gruffly, Cato nodded a bit weakly.

Inside the train, he was stripped and made to lie down inside the tube-like machine, the chamber or 'cocoon' as he once called it, was a hyperbaric container that was then filled with a violet colored substance when activated. The doctors at the Capitol said that this was the technology used to bring him back.

As they locked the cocoon over his head and the violet-colored liquid slowly enveloped him, the last thought that fleeted through his mind is _Katniss…_

…

Katniss has already downed her fifth alcoholic drink when Haymitch came stumbling toward their direction.

"Sweetheart, you trying to beat me to the punch?" He laughed at that "get it? you know… punch? Because that punch bowl is fantastic, great job, President Paylor" turning in tribute toward the president with a flourish.

"Victor Haymitch, don't make me regret sending that invitation, if you can't behave yourself then you'd better retire early"

"Well, aren't you sunny? You're turning into your predecessors… lighten up a bit Paylor, you're looking pa-ler"

At that, Katniss smacked him upside the head "Shut up on the bad puns, Haymitch, no one's laughing"

And true enough, no one was really laughing. But then again, as far as party goes, this one sucked. As she thought of it, she reached for another glass filled with amber. Weird, that the more she drank, the better everything is.

Peeta was looking at her worriedly, already following her closely and trying to discourage Katniss from reaching for another drink.

She didn't care. Whatever, this party really turned out worse than she thought. District One, Two, and Four were also clustered together glaring at the outliers. Someone from District Six was already smoking something and the District Seven and above were all glaring at the Careers and other Districts in disgust.

Only the Capitol party seemed to enjoy it, they were looking at the people around them more than the stage. And why not? It's entertainment at its finest, watch the Districts destroy themselves.

Even after the war and rebellion, the Districts were still treated as animals. Existing merely for their amusement. It was a sad and sobering thought.

For this reason, Katniss reached for another glass.

If this party's heading to hell, then she might as well not remember it. It's been three hours and everyone looked ready to leave but just waiting for one District to do so first.

…

"Are you alright, son?" 'N' asked quietly. Cato was flexing his arm muscles a bit and stretching his legs alternately. Everything seemed to be working.

"Yeah, old man… I'm fine. Now, can we go?" He asked impatiently. His grandfather sighed in resignation and he took his grandson's arm carefully so that Cato can escort him back to the party.

Even from afar, they could hear the noise, as they arrived at the scene, both Cato and 'N' were surprised by the pandemonium that erupted. People were sprawled every which way and foodstuffs were thrown at the other Districts. They could hear District One shouting obscenities at District 11 and 12 while a District Two victor punched Haymitch on the nose.

Cato's eyes widened as he saw Katniss walking unsteadily toward the two but stumbled on a stray bowl lying on the ground. The remaining contents spilled over the gold dress and over her hair.

However, instead of screaming in indignation or attacking someone, she simply laughed.

She laughed so hard that some of the Districts stopped to stare. Stare at this girl that had alcohol dripping from her hair, her breath no doubt also smelled of it. The Girl on Fire doused by alcohol.

Cato walked tentatively toward Katniss' form, wanting her to shut up. This wasn't the girl that he remembered. _What the hell happened?_

He ignored Peeta who paused in astonishment at seeing him, at Haymitch and the District Two Victor who also stopped to look at him in shock.

Stopping a few inches from the laughing form of Katniss, he leaned down and slapped her hard across the face. Her breath caught at the unexpected attack.

Looking up, she stared in horror at the sight before her. "No- no, you're supposed to be dead" she whispered brokenly, her mascara already running down her face. Katniss scrambled backward pitifully, further destroying her gown.

Cato simply stared at her, studying the ruined dress, make-up, and hair but most of all, looking straight into those shallow eyes. Deadened eyes. There's no need to exact revenge on this person, not when she's already dead.

"And you're supposed to be the Girl on Fire… guess things don't turn out as you expected them to be" Averting his gaze from the broken girl at his feet, he saw his grandfather gesturing toward him to help the girl up. Cato shook his head. "No need, this wasn't…" he pointed distastefully at Katniss' sprawled form "…what I came here for… I guess that girl didn't really survive the war" As he spoke those final words, he could see the devastation spreading on her face.

He turned away in disgust followed by his grandfather and the rest of the Capitol entourage. They were first to depart the revolting sight of Districts slandering the other.

They really lived up to the Capitol's expectations, _how disappointing_.

…

**End of Chapter Three**

Next chapter will be of how Cato survived. This story is going to be slower in terms of pairing development than Gladiolus… but Katniss has to heal first emotionally before they can be together. And Cato also has to learn how to be for Katniss… so it might take a while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

"_Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word." _

― George R.R. Martin, _A Game of Thrones_

**Chapter 4**

Three years ago…

He didn't know what was happening. Only that it was happening to him. Because it hurt.

Everything seemed to hurt.

Blearily he could hear some background sounds. Of footsteps and people scurrying around. Disjointed voices that penetrated the fog of pain that shrouds his consciousness.

"Don't lose him!" Someone said desperately. A man. An old man judging by the raspy quality of the voice. The others tried to reassure him, saying weird words and techno babble.

The old man shushed them and told them to simply focus on working on his form.

Before losing consciousness completely, he heard a shocking statement from the same man. "That's my grandson, you _will _heal him"

Cato would rise up and back down again into awareness. He could see white. Everything was white, from the walls and the bed sheets that he's currently lying on. But before long, they would lift him up and transfer him someplace.

A place that feels comfortable and tender. Cato never really got to see it because they always injected him with something prior to the procedure.

Sometimes he would see the old man's form sitting near his hospital bed, keeping vigil. No one has ever done that for him.

Aside from his silent vigil during nights, the old man also liked to talk incessantly. His name's 'Nico' and said that I could call him Gramps, though or 'N,' whatever moniker that I was comfortable with.

"Your name is Cato and you're my daughter's son" 'N' said softly. Cato scoffed to himself, he's never known his mother much less her father. Cato's father told him early on that his mother was a whore who paraded herself in front of other men.

Father said she was selfish but that she died during childbirth.

Oddly enough, Father also hated him because his eyes and hair color were similar to those of his mother's. He said that his coloring was weak, just like his mother.

In the academy, no one really talked about family and father only visited during evaluation days, not family days. This was the main reason why he strived hard to impress so that his father would stay that extra hour to watch him spar with the older kids.

To make him proud.

"No, you're not" Cato whispered painfully, his throat still dry from the medicines administered to him.

The old man jumped up from his seat and leaned eagerly toward his form.

"Who are you?" He asked incredulously. Looking alarmed at the affection and surge of emotions reflected in the old man's eyes.

The old man named 'N' leaned closer to him and gently smoothed his hair back. "I'm your grandfather, Cato"

At that statement, Cato struggled hard to get up. "And I told you that you're not" He leaned his arms painfully back and looked directly at the man "I don't know who you are but stop pretending. My mother died years ago… and none from her family ever went to her funeral"

After finishing that, the man's eyes turned dark with suppressed hurt "Your mother already passed away, Cato?" The man asked, his bottom lip starting to quiver. The arms leaning on the hospital bed also vibrating.

"Yes" He said straight "She died giving birth to me" Cato scooted back and leaned heavily on the headboard. Looking down at his form, he grimaced. Cato was covered in different bandages with almost seven tubes stuck to his arms and chest. "What happened to me?"

The man remained silent. Looking over him, he could see some tears escaping his eyes. "Hey!" He exclaimed, trying to get the man's attention, "what happened to me?"

'N' wiped the tears and looked at Cato sadly "I'm sorry about your loss, son"

Cato shrugged in response "Didn't really know her, besides Father said she hated me… always talking about aborting me during her pregnancy"

He was surprised when his arm was gripped tightly by the old man. "Never say that! Your mother would've loved you and I'm sure she did love you. Loved you very much while she was carrying you"

"How would you know?" Cato asked sullenly and more than a bit confused.

"I told you… I'm your grandfather. Your mother… your late mother" He choked on the word "was my daughter"

"What? Is this some kind of a joke?" He asked sputtering.

"No, no joke. We checked Cato, but even without that biological test, those eyes could only belong to this family" The man leaned towards him once again. Placing one hand on his shoulders "The probability that you're my grandson is 98.7 percent"

After uttering the number, Cato smiled widely and then laughed. He laughed so hard that his voice grew hoarse and tear tracks trailed down his cheeks.

"Cato…" N worriedly looked at him "I know that this might come as a shock…"

"What?" He replied, still grinning insanely "what's more ridiculous than you saying that I'm a Capitolite?"

"But you are! Or you're half Capitolite… your mother, my daughter" he clarified, still trembling "was from the Capitol"

"Is that so? Then why would she lower herself to a District 2 male? District 2 are basically considered as dogs by the Capitol" he spat venomously.

"She didn't go willingly… my daughter… was kidnapped. By your father!"

"That's a lie" He shouted in negation.

"No, Cato, I'm sorry to say this to you now but your father… he wasn't good. He wasn't well in the head. True, he was a Victor in his own right but he wasn't well liked by anyone."

"My father brought honor to his District! The Hunger Games simply damaged him a bit… everyone respected him!"

The old man shook his head in sadness "You looked at him through the eyes of a child… putting him in a pedestal but he wasn't Cato…" N's eyes softened and that's when I noticed that he has a lot of lines across his face, unusual given the Capitol's predilection for cosmetic surgery.

"You don't know him" Cato declared with finality.

"But I do… when I watched this year's reaping, I knew instantly that you're my grandson. I went to District Two at once to see your father… I pleaded to that man to give me back my daughter…he refused. The Peacekeepers got involved. He's in prison now Cato"

"What!" He surged up in indignation. This man jailed his father. "What do you mean?"

"Kidnapping is punishable by death normally, be glad that he still has his Victor status" N spat, clearly frustrated now with his grandson's continued show loyalty. "And rape, more so"

Cato retaliated after that, pushing the man away from him "Get out"

"Cato…" N uttered, mollified and slightly sad on their first meeting.

"I said get out!" He shouted. The old man left albeit reluctantly. Hunched over and clearly in pain at their confrontation.

When the door closed. Cato likewise shut his eyes tightly. The tears now flowing out are from a different cause.

He didn't really know what to think. Cato knew that his father wasn't good. He knew that besides becoming a Victor, he was a waste of space. But that man was still his father.

Bunching up the bed sheets on both sides, he tried to tear it apart in agitation. What the old man was saying had to be a lie.

…

The next morning, the man called N returned carrying a tablet. He again situated himself beside Cato's hospital bed. "We got off at a rough start" N whispered gently "I'm sorry, son"

"Stop calling me that." Cato muttered angrily.

"But you are, Cato. You're my grandson… and I love you"

"What the fuck!?" He replied incredulously, wondering whether this man was crazy.

"When I saw you volunteering, I almost collapsed" N continued ignoring his grandson's crude language "I wanted to stop it but Snow insisted. He told me that he'd make sure that you'll win"

"Well, I didn't or didn't you see me swan dive off the Cornucopia?"

"Yes, yes I did" N said showing him the tablet "I tried to get as fast to you as I can. When the shuttle picked you up. I bribed the Peacekeepers into giving up your corpse to me"

Cato looked at him expressionlessly.

"I thought that I was going to bury my last remaining link…" He whispered brokenly. "But then you started breathing… it was weak but still there… we were able to revive you"

"How?" He was now curious. Cato knew the wounds inflicted onto him would've killed a smaller man instantly so it still surprised him that he survived.

"Technology. We own the largest pharmaceutical corporation along with many other research and development-heavy factories… I put my best scientists to work" N said excitedly. "And it worked! We placed you in a chamber and induced you under a mild coma-like state… but shortly after, the rebellion started"

"Whoa! Wait a minute, what do you mean rebellion?"

The old man smiled "Oh! The mockingjay. Your Girl On Fire along with several other Victors joined the rebellion. District 13 rose up once again"

"Wait wait wait. Didn't the Capitol destroy District 13?"

"Yes, we did and also District 12"

"You bombed District 12?" Cato asked incredulously "Are you guys stupid?" By flattening District 12, the rebellion garnered more support from the rest of the Districts.

"I know, I know… tried to tell Snow that it was stupid but the man wouldn't listen"

"Wait, rewind. All of these aren't possible. It's only been what? A week or two since the Hunger Games… how could this have happened in such a short time?"

The man squared his shoulders and he knew then that he wouldn't really like the answer. N looked straight at him after fiddling with the tablet on his lap.

Showing it to Cato, N whispered "It hasn't been just a week, Cato… it's been two and half years since the Hunger Games."

And in the tablet, they were showing the Starcrossed Lovers waving towards the crowd but this wasn't the Victory tour because both were dressed in military uniforms. No…

This was the Rebellion's Victory. He could see his vision tunneling and then nothing.

…

It's been two weeks since that meeting. Cato's been getting stronger day by day. And with the frequent visits from N, he was also becoming more and more at ease with the old man.

N was currently updating him on the events that took place during his two-year coma state.

"The liquid that's used to heal your wounds enhances your healing capacity and thus, your physical side… it mainly works in your cerebral. In a way, it's fooling your brain to think that you're healed and as such, it asks the body to work that way"

"So it's that simple? Just tell my brain that I'm okay and I'm healed?" Cato asked, slightly weirded out by the simplistic concept.

"In a nutshell, yes. Though there are plenty of compounds going into that chemical but alas, we don't need the nitty gritty details of it" N announced, slapping his hands over his knees he slowly stood up "There are, however, side-effects during the transition… the doctors say that it could manifest in the form of deeper REM cycle"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"We don't really know as of now, no one has really ever been asleep that deeply. It's almost the sleep of the dead, Cato"

"Sleep of the dead? All I remember was…" He hesitated in saying the feeling but he felt loved and tenderness in those deep rests.

"What, son?"

"Nothing… just nothing" _A girl… I remember a girl._

"Well, you'll still need to frequent the chamber but don't worry, the Doctors said that you're on your way to a full recovery by the end of this year" The old man assured him, placing a hand over his head, the man ruffled his hair as you'd do a child.

Cato glared at him for this gesture. N simply smiled and once again left him to his thoughts.

…

By the end of the month, Cato was getting antsy. The room looked smaller now, the air felt too constricted and purified and the hospital food sucked!

He never really noticed before but the room he was in didn't really look like a hospital. It was too ornately decorated. Even the bed that he's now lying on was made of a heavy oak that could only have come from District 7. The bed sheets, though colored white had more thread count than the ones provided in the Tribute apartments and the lights were chandelier.

The whole room was coffee-colored and one side spans the wide bay windows. Flooring was made of wood with a large patch of carpet that looked so soft, you could sleep in it while the room had double-doors.

If nothing else, Cato was pretty sure that the old man was filthy rich. He shrugged. Whatever.

Sitting up once again, he tried to stretch out his body, feeling the aches and pains still lingering. Walking carefully toward the bedroom mirror, Cato braced himself for what his reflection would look like. He knew that he was bitten to within an inch of his life by those mongrels, so he was pretty sure that he'd be butt ugly.

So it came as a shock when he saw his clear form bounced back to him. The boy in the mirror looked anything but deformed. He still had his nose, his face was unblemished and no traces of a scar was visible from his neck up. Quickly chucking off his shirt, Cato was surprised that even his upper body was clear of the many scars that he accumulated over the years.

Walking back a bit to further inspect himself as a whole, he noticed that he did lose some weight. No longer the overly bulky teenager, he reverted back to his original mass prior to his preparation for the Hunger Games.

Turning around the room, he noticed that the drawn curtains was actually covering an alcove. Carefully tracing his steps toward the bit of sunlight streaming in, Cato grasped the brass handle and turned it open.

Stepping out, he was surprised by what greeted him. The sunlight was almost blinding but the scene below was even more surreal. Beyond the expansive garden in his grandfather's backyard, Cato could see the smoke rising here and there throughout Panem.

"What the hell?" Even as he uttered that, he could see a fighter jet going past their estate and shooting rounds at one of the Capitol's base camps. "Where the hell am I?" He whispered.

Behind him, he could hear the door being opened. "Cato!" someone exclaimed. Shortly after, he saw a hand pulling him back into the room. "What were you thinking going out there?" N demanded, the lines in his face further deepening.

"I was… it was… I had to see with my own two eyes what was happening"

"It's war, son. Everyone's at war. We're protected because the 'N'corporation is as valuable to the Capitol as it is to the Rebellion but right now, no area is safe"

"What happened to my District?" He inquired, his head looking toward the old man in confusion.

"It…" Pausing yet again, a sure sign that he wasn't gonna like N's answer "after the Capitol flattened District 12, the rebellion went after your District, they bombed them as well"

"What!? How could- I mean, how could the Capitol allow that! Their soldiers are from District 2!"

"Majority of the Peacekeepers were already stationed to different areas and those in training at the academy were also moved to actual barracks in the vicinity of the Capitol… but the residents, the actual residents didn't make it" The old man whispered.

Cato was speechless, everyone was gone. He could still remember Mrs. Tally from the sweet shop always tossing him a candy or two, or One-Eyed Brick who made the best weapons in all of Panem, all the while whistling a jaunty tune. They were gone. All of them.

"What about my father?" He whispered, still hopeful.

"The explosion was dropped in the middle of the District, just a few yards away from the prison…" N started walking toward him "Cato, I know that this feels overwhelming… but you have to believe me… I didn't know that the Rebellion will retaliate in that way"

Holding up one hand to stop the excuses, Cato stared at N closely and sighed in defeat "Don't bother… besides, what could you have done"

N looked hopeful now, ecstatic even at Cato's stand on the issue. Nonetheless, he asked to be left alone.

It took Cato another month to process everything. Right now, he didn't even know whether to feel relieved that he was asleep during these events or to feel angry at being on the sidelines. He wanted to fight. He needed to.

As such, he took out his frustrations on the furniture within the room. Gaining enough strength this past month, he was able to throw a well-deserved tantrum at last.

The avoxes didn't know what to make of him. And N was speechless at seeing the 'brute boy' from District 2 in his element.

"What's wrong, Cato!?" N demanded, trying to stop him from breaking another glass.

"Everything! I should've died there or at the very least been in my District during these past months! I could've helped!"

N was shaking his head in negation. "You couldn't have done anything, son, this was the time of the Rebellion. The Districts are tired and angry at Snow's games. You in the forefront wouldn't have made anything different!"

"What do you mean? I could've been there… been there…" Cato stopped midsentence "been there when they perished." He was surprised at the old man's slap.

"Don't ever say that!" N snarled and at this moment, Cato could now see their resemblance "You're my family and you'll survive this and many more"

"Then what am I now?" Feeling at a lost, he started walking to one of the armchairs that still remained upright in the room "the games are over, I'm not a Victor, and my home is gone… what am I to do now?"

N straightened then to his full height, which almost reached Cato's imposing figure, he placed a hand on his shoulder and announced the three words that will change his life from here on out "Be my heir."

…

That was four months ago. Now, Cato's desk was filled to the edge with books on finance, business, negotiations, and diplomacy. And this was only the tip of his education. Sociology and influencing was also a core in this crash course.

Leaning back, he sighed tiredly rubbing the cobwebs from his eyes. In the corner, an avox came forward to offer him a hot beverage. He smiled in appreciation.

That was one of the first things that needed to be imbedded into his brain and actions. N valued kindness and equal exchange, quid pro quo.

You'll get what you give.

N conglomerate spans different areas. They're the research and development in pharmaceuticals, the testing experiments of armaments, logging business in District 7, commodity trading between Districts, specifically, agriculture, and lastly, technical division in technologies and transportation.

The list went on but it also filled Cato with a weird sense of importance. Having a hold of all these companies meant power. Power that can be wielded easily _if_ you're the Heir.

N entered his room quietly, looking over his shoulder at the notes scattered on his desk. "Well, that's certainly a different look on things"

Turning around, he frowned at his grandfather, "What do you mean?"

"You're suggesting that the Districts be combined in that model" N clarified, tapping the paper that he's been doodling at for the past hour.

"What? Oh! This?" He waved the piece of paper nonchalantly. "It's nothing, just some crazy ideas…" As he was about to crumple it, his grandfather stopped him.

"No, don't. Having a big eye view at things is better than focusing too much on the small things… that's what drives corporations to succeed—their vision… so never underestimate it. Keep this paper close, Cato, I really think you have something there"

He was a bit uncomfortable with the look the old man was giving him. N looked like the proudest father in the world. Looking at him as if he's solved the formula for life and death.

"Okay."

Smiling down at him, N nudged him up and reminded him of his treatments.

Cato went reluctantly. For the past few weeks, the image of the girl was becoming more and more evident. She was dark-haired, of that he was sure and she's also in pain. A lot of it.

At first, he ignored the figure but after a while, he started talking to her. Asking her what was wrong. Comforting her.

It was so weird. It's like he has an imaginary relationship with the girl.

So when the fluid filled the 'cocoon,' instead of dread, he was feeling anticipation.

…

The violet tinge from the substance slowly dissipated from his eyes and he could see clearer now. She was there again. Walking tentatively over to the hunched figure, he crouched down silently and placed a comforting arm over her quivering shoulders.

"Hey…" He whispered.

A sniffle was the response.

"What's wrong now?"

She leaned back and breathed deeply. A gesture that he's very familiar with because he does it as well. It means that she's trying to keep it all in.

So he learned another thing about her.

She's dark-haired.

And she's strong.

"It was nothing" She replied and her voice felt like a caress to him.

She also has a nice voice.

Three things…

"I don't think so… people don't just break down crying, you know" And he's sure of it. If this girl is crying, then it has to be pretty serious.

Though Cato couldn't see her face, he knew that she was assessing him just as carefully.

"Since I don't really know you and you don't really know me… maybe it's okay"

"What?" he asked in confusion. Stepping closer to her figure.

"I mean that since we don't know each other, it's okay to consult, right? It's not like I'll see you in the real world or something" she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I guess so…"

She nodded in approval and after a long pause wherein Cato thinks that she's gathering courage to confess, "I'm crying because I lost my family"

"What?" This surprised him "Are you from District 2?"

"What!? No! I'm from District 12"

He retreated for a bit in disgust before reigning in his prejudiced side. "You lost your family because of the Capitol?"

"Yes" Her shoulders slumped then, it seems as if her whole silhouette also turned grayer in response.

"I'm sorry." He paused, trying to decide on whether to confide in her as well "I lost mine too"

She was clearly surprised because even though he couldn't see her eyes, her whole form jerked up "Are you also from District 12?" she asked suspiciously.

"No. I'm from District 2"

"You're a capitol dog!"

He shrugged, what else is new. "Yes, but I guess you people know how to get rid of dogs, don't you?" He asked sarcastically. "You should be really proud of yourselves, too bad that you only killed civilians, though"

"I never wanted them to do that… bomb another District. The Rebellion was under Coin then and she just wanted revenge"

That statement confused Cato. How could this girl throw in a name as important as Coin so casually. She must be in the upper hierarchy of the Rebellion.

"My mother and little sister died in the District" She whispered brokenly. "That wasn't supposed to happen… I tried…" she stopped for a bit to regain her bearings "… I tried so fucking hard to keep them safe!"

Walking closer to her "I just wanted them safe!" She screamed that last part.

"I'm sorry" Cato once again wrapped an arm around her. "I'm really sorry"

"It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I got too into the Capitol and into the Rebellion. I forgot! I forgot what I was fighting for! I forgot what's important" Finishing that heartbreaking statement, she broke down.

After stroking her back gently for ten minutes, Cato nudged her again "I was Career you know?"

"What?" She asked hoarsely.

"I was a Career tribute. All I knew was how to fight. I was trained to be a weapon for the Capitol… to be a Victor. But on hindsight, I kind of realized how stupid I must've been"

"Why?" A hiccup.

"Because it didn't matter. Those things didn't matter. The Peacekeepers almost committed mass suicide after they bombed my District because in the end, the people that we were fighting for, that ones were trying to protect are all gone"

"This war is stupid" She whispered in agreement.

"You're right because in the end, the ones that we were trying to protect became the victims"

She nodded again. "No reason"

"None anymore… but you know what? I met my grandfather."

"I thought you said that your family died?" She said somewhat accusingly.

"Not him. It turns out that my father hid my existence from my mother's side of the family" That was the understatement of the year. "He's training me now"

"To be what?"

"To be good"

"That's a pretty tall order to give to a former Career"

"I know, right? But he really sees me in a different light. You should have someone like that in your life too"

"I do! I have a… ummm… I'm engaged" She said, holding up her hand and that's when Cato noticed the modest ring displayed on her left hand. He didn't know why but upon seeing it, he felt a pang in his chest.

"Well, that answers that. If for nothing else, you could live for him"

"But how? When I can't even move on" Her voice slowly trailed off.

"It takes more time and not enough time…It's weird really. For a few weeks, I looked like a zombie upon learning of their death but then one day, it just clicked"

"Clicked?"

"That I have to live on… for them"

"Well, that's a whole lot of philosophical bullshit"

"Hey!"

"What? It's true." After awhile of glaring at each other, we burst out laughing. And even though the two of us are just blurred forms to the other, we found relief in our shared feelings of remorse.

Unable to stop himself, Cato asked "Who are you?"

She stopped laughing then and after a while, she answered "I think it's better if we don't know each other"

"What?" Cato asked incredulously, leaning back from her.

"I don't know you and you don't know me, it should stay that way. I think its better that way. Names shouldn't be important" She whispered as if from experience.

Before he could rebut that statement, Cato started to feel lightheaded—a sign that he's about to wake up. But before returning to the real world, he muttered "This isn't over yet"

And her silent reply was enough to encourage him "I hope not"

…

**End of Chapter 4**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

"_The most confused we ever get is when we're trying to convince our heads of something our heart knows is a lie." _

― Karen Marie Moning

A/N: By the way, these musings (Chapter 4 to 5) are prior to their meeting in the party. We're gonna jump back to the present in Chapter 6.

**Chapter 5**

Sitting up abruptly, Katniss looked left and right in quick succession. Why is it that every time she comes out of the dream, she feels lightheaded?

Scooting up to the headboard, she leaned back and looked straight at the ceiling. Feeling confused.

Beside her was Peeta sleeping soundly. Looking down, she slowly touched his golden hair and couldn't help but think how different it was to the young man in her dreams.

Peeta's hair was blonde as well but in many ways it was of a different shade. As she touched a lock, Peeta instinctively scooted closer to her. He's always aware when she's extending any affection because it seldom happens. It was a sad reality but Katniss just couldn't bring herself to show her emotions too much.

Only when she's sleeping does she allow herself the luxury of breaking down and unfortunately, Peeta wasn't the shoulder that she usually cried on.

This wasn't fair to him. Why can't she just open up to her fiancé?

Partners for life means sharing your doubts, wants, needs, happiness, sorrow, and anger with the other. What they have seemed to be different.

Inside the Hunger Games, they were protector and protected. Despite the 'starcrossed lovers' theme, everyone knew that hers and Peeta's relationship was of dependence not equality. When they started the Rebellion, Katniss became the Mockingjay and any special treatment was not tolerated especially when people were laying their lives in her name left and right; Peeta became one of her followers. It was only when Peeta proposed that she felt as if they were equals but even then, she had her doubts.

"Hey" a raspy voice interrupted her inner musings. Katniss looked down at Peeta to smile at him apologetically.

"Did I wake you?" She asked softly, still continuing to stroke his hair.

He chuckled at her question and slowly snaked an arm around her waist, "Yes, but it's okay. I love feeling you close to me"

Katniss nodded and slid down again to snuggle into his arms "Sorry for waking you up, it's been a while since you slept this deeply" Peeta's been having continuous nightmares ever since the end of the war so any good rest will do him good.

He leaned closer to Katniss and touched his forehead to hers. Settling down, trying to fall back asleep was hard. She keeps getting splashes of memories of another pair of arms circling her. Peeta's arms were comfortable as it always has been. Even during the 47th Hunger Games but never did it feel safe or secure.

In the Hunger Games, even as he hugged her to sleep she still felt on edge of the dangers out that remained because she knew that if they were to be attacked, their only line of defense was her bow. And ever since then, that feeling never really abated completely.

By contrast, she felt the opposite in the arms of the stranger in her dreams. His embrace felt strong, consuming, and it wasn't really comfortable… because all the while goosebumps would crawl up and down the parts of her body that he touched. But the biggest difference between their hugs were that Katniss' dream hug made her feel safe.

The large arms and hard body pressed to her form seemed capable of it. His words, answers, and actions also attested to that. That young man was strong especially since he came from District 2.

Never in her wildest imaginings would she have thought that someone from District 2—the complete opposite of 12—will be the one to give her inner peace from the nightmares that constantly plagued her.

Katniss didn't dream of him during her nap but she wanted to. And what does that say about her? Here she was, in the arms of her fiancé, wishing for another pair of arms.

It felt like cheating and she doesn't want to be unfaithful.

But that didn't stop her from dreaming about the same man for the rest of the week and she welcomed him. They never really crossed that line to being unfaithful but sometimes the touches, the words, and glimpses of intense blue eyes seemed powerful enough.

So even though she wasn't doing anything physical to constitute cheating, Katniss knew that she was already doing it emotionally.

Yet, she repeated that this man wasn't real. He was just a construct of her dreams. At one time, she even told herself that it was Peeta's sub consciousness that she was dreaming of. But Katniss became familiar enough with the man's physique to know that the man in her dreams giving her the tingles wasn't her fiancé.

Dream man was too tall, too broad, and his eyes too unique.

Frustrated at her thoughts, she huffed in irritation and stood up to clean the house. "What the hell is happening to me?" She asked no one.

Grabbing a rag, she started scrubbing the kitchen counters until it shined. As she looked up, Katniss noticed that her reflection was different. There was a healthy glow to her cheeks, a blush.

That never happened before.

She bent down again to rid herself of the color. After sweating out her confusion at cleaning for a solid hour, she moved on to the living room. Cleaning it spotless from top to floor.

Looking back at the mirror, she saw that the red flush was gone when suddenly a blurred apparition of a beautiful chanced upon her again and the blush came back full force.

Walking gingerly towards her reflection, she touched the young woman who looked like her except her eyes expressed so much, almost similar to the original girl who first entered the arena"What's happening to me?" she whispered.

She doesn't really know what's anymore. After Prim died, she became so consumed with anger and vengeance that it transcended the sorrow. Temporarily.

Temporarily, Katniss was able to show the Capitol the true Mockingjay but like an adrenaline rush, it goes away.

And it went away after the Rebellion won. So this is what's left of the Girl on Fire; the girl in front of that mirror looked nothing like the ones daily shown on television.

Katniss wasn't the Mockingjay anymore. Unfortunately, it seems that she's the only one aware of it. Not wanting to think these depressing thoughts anymore, Katniss grabbed her father's jacket from the hook and went out.

Walking briskly along familiar paths, she could see people stopping to either stare at her or greet her a good morning, good day. 'Hey'

She ignored most of them. They never bothered to be this polite before her changed status, so she didn't see any reason for this pretense anymore.

The floor in District 12 remained dusty despite being cemented. It seems that coal will forever be smudged on the walls of this District. She hates it.

When Peeta first suggested that they get a house, she balked at the idea of building it so close to town but the bakery is in there and Peeta's has a very close-knit family, despite his spiteful mother.

So she compromised. Well, not much of a compromise really. After all, there's really nothing left for her. No family anymore for the Katniss.

Just her.

Seeing the edge of the forest, Katniss found herself almost running. She's so near that she could almost smell the pine needles and dirt. Upon breaching it, she breathed a sigh of relief. This is the only place that smelled familiar now.

District 12 felt different now. Peeta felt different now. Even she felt different now. Nothing's constant.

But sometimes, she just wants everything to stop. Just stop and wait for her to catch up.

…

On the other side of Panem, another boy sat up panting from his dream. Running a shaking hand over his tousled blonde hair, he puffed his cheeks out and released it heavily, all the while smiling crookedly.

"What the hell was that?" He asked, shaking his head from side to side.

Really?

Is he really getting infatuated with some figment of his imagination?

Standing groggily up, he dragged his weary form from the chamber tube to reach the towel draped on the sides. Initially, an avox constantly waited for him to give him a towel and his clothes. It was awkward and so, as soon as he's strong enough to stand on his own, he dispensed with the assistant.

He was grateful now for that. The thought of his aptly named 'dream girl' seemed to have affected his body in reality. His erection stood half-mast and the more he thought about her, the more it's standing to attention.

Shit, well at least that part of his anatomy still worked.

Wrapping the towel securely around his waist, he trudged slowly toward the adjoining dress room. The dressing room was created as a link between his bedchamber and the 'recovery room.'

Pulling a white shirt over his head, he cringed at the still sore muscles. It's been more than two years and he still chest area still feels like a truck has hit it dead on. Pulling up a pair of purple pants, he grimaced.

He still can't get over Capitol taste. N said that it would make him fit in better, Cato thought he looked like a freakin' clown.

Entering his room, he's surprised to find his grandfather sitting by his study table. "Cato, how was your session?"

"If you mean, the chamber bath, then it was good" He shrugged, trying to mask his surprise at the question. "Why are you asking?"

N nodded and looked at him closer, "We noticed something during your REM cycle, there's continued spikes in your subconscious, a sign of activity… at first we thought it was simply a glitch but checking on your previous sleep-state revealed the same spikes"

Cato just stared at him blankly, he wasn't gonna talk unless N asks him directly.

"Is there anything going on during your treatments?" His gramps asks, a worried frown beginning to show "Because, we can stop it, Cato… there's no need for the baths anymore, we can resort to traditional"

"No!" He says it a bit more loudly than intended. He stops at his tone. It was too forceful—a definite sign. N stared at him in surprise, before leaning forward and regarding him closely.

Cato squirmed guiltily.

"What's happening, son? You can tell me"

N has been taking care of him for two years or so but he still felt some reservations about sharing his dream experience. His inner voice contradicts him, whispering that what he didn't want to share were thoughts of _her._

She was, after all, something that only he knows. His dream girl is for him alone but Cato also believes that N won't really stop asking.

"I- I'm… There-… I see her"

"Her?"

"This girl"

"You see a girl during treatments?" N looked intrigued at that.

He nods once, "I don't know her, she's usually blurred out. I could only make out dark brown hair" its hard to describe dream girl to an outsider.

"So how do you know it's a 'her'?"

At that question, he smirks "I said blurred not blank, okay? Besides I can talk to her"

"Okay… just to be clear" N leans back and then regards him appraisingly again "When you sleep, you dream of her?"

"Yes!" He lifts up his hands in exasperation.

"That sounds like a lyrics to a song, Cato, do you like her?" N raised an eyebrow, clearly amused.

"What!? Where the hell did that come from?"

"I'm just asking, dear boy. Do you like her?"

Cato stares at N for a long moment, not wanting to answer. His silence seems to be enough of an answer for N.

N chuckled. Then he started laughing.

Straightening to his full height, he huffed in offense.

"Cato, dear boy, this is just amazing. So you have a 'dream relationship'" His grandfather fake coughs 'wet dream' "that's why you like the treatments so much!"

"I do not have any type of relationship, get that through your thick skull, old man!"

"What?"

"We talk. That's all we do, we argue too… a lot at that"

"So in this dream, you're not together… together" the old man further emphasizes by using two fingers bumping together.

"Shit! Yes! We're not together like that. Besides, she has a fiancé!"

"Your imagined girlfriend is engaged?" N asked incredulously.

"I can't control it, okay?" He says testily "she's already with another man"

"But it's your dream, Cato, you should be able to at least bend something to your will"

"I don't know okay? Don't you think I haven't tried? I've always tried to think of her as single before I sleep… but it doesn't work, get it?"

N stands up then, looking serious for once "This is fascinating!"

"What's fascinating about it?"

"The fact that you're living something close to reality in your dreams" N started pacing back and forth. "You're seeing her, talking to her… and is she your ideal woman?"

Cato shakes his head "I've always preferred blondes and this girl is feisty. She likes to contradict me! It's frustrating the hell out of me!" He turns his back on N to sit down at the edge of his bed.

"So, maybe she's not your imagination…"

"What? Then what the hell is she?"

"Maybe, she's actually real, my boy"

"What?" He half laughs at N's theory. "How could that be?"

"Another person sharing your dream, its possible that to her, you're also just an imaginary construct"

Cato stops at that. A girl. A real girl. His dream girl could be here in reality. He's always wondered about that, maybe that's why she doesn't want to tell him her name.

"If so, how do I find her?"

N looks at him, a gentle smile playing on his lips "Do you want to find her, Cato?"

"Yes." He said with conviction. "I want to find her"

…

Katniss sneezes out of the blue.

Am I getting allergic to all these pollens? She's currently lying down in the meadow and just staring at the sky. Why can't a house have roofs like the sky?

She can honestly say that she'll be happy to stay here for the rest of the night and it is already nightfall. She'll need to get back to the house soon but at the same time, she doesn't want to.

There's no doubt in her mind that Katniss will be dreaming of him again and its getting more and more awkward when she's startled awake by a different blonde haired boy.

What's more frightening and confusing is that she prefers the other.

…

The dreams continued on for the two. It's been another five months and each of those nights were filled with laughter, arguments, and unspoken wants. Cato has started trying to draw some of her distinctive features. Blurred but still a bit evident. Too bad, he's crap at sketching.

Similarly, Katniss has also started gather things that reminded her of him. Sometimes, it would be smile that's given by some random stranger. It startled her the first time it happened. There was this three year old boy who suddenly beamed up at her and she's instantly reminded of his smile.

Sometimes, it would be the shape of a shoulder. Or the height of a random man. More and more, Katniss is getting bombarded with small things to remind her of him.

As such, it's getting more and more difficult to face Peeta.

Tomorrow night is the gathering that Paylor arranged to reunite the Districts… she sincerely hopes that the event doesn't last the whole night. Because she prefers longer nights nowadays since the only thing grounding her to reality were her dreams.

…

**End of Chapter 5**

**A/N RECAP! I know it's confusing but I'm basically writing without an outline here. I know, pretty stupid right? Anyway, this chapter is kind of a prequel to the 'party' where they actually saw each other. Next chapter will be present. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

"_The best fantasy is written in the language of dreams. It is alive as dreams are alive, more real than real ... for a moment at least ... that long magic moment before we wake."_

― George R.R. Martin

**Chapter 6**

_After the disastrous party_…

Katniss stumbles down. Her dress is ruined, her hair smells worse than her breath, and everyone is staring at her in horror. She's never felt this humiliated since her first year at the town school when the 'rich' kids threw clumps of dirt at her.

She doesn't want to stay here anymore. Someone grabs her arm and hauls her up. Turning to the person supporting her, she smiled wearily at Peeta.

Walking slowly forward, she threw one last apologetic smile at Paylor who was gazing at the devastation around her with sadness. This was supposed to be a night of merriment but instead, the Districts decided to just stab each other upfront.

Career Districts hate the outliers because they were on the opposite side during rebellion. The rebellion bombed District 2. The Capitol bombed District 12. There's just so much bad blood between the two factions for them to reconcile this soon.

It's been three years since the Rebellion broke out. A year since the Rebellion won.

It's too soon. People are still mourning the lost of their family. Inner sorrow quickly took over after indignation. During the war, everyone had a common enemy, The Capitol. Once it was taken down, they realized that the Capitol wasn't the only element at work.

And so they started blaming each other.

This is the result: a fractioned nation.

And right now, the Mockingjay is too deep in sorrow to stand up again and tell them to step up.

What's going to happen now?

…

When we arrived home, Peeta asked if he could go out again to assist in cleaning up the party. She smiled at him, giving him permission. Besides, she doesn't really want him to see her vomiting.

"Go on, Peeta, they could really use someone with your disposition, right now" She urged, pushing him gently out the door.

"If you're sure…" He still hesitates. Katniss smiles at him and shoos him out. The headache was starting to set in.

She scrambles quickly to the bathroom, barely avoiding puking on the bathroom floor. She spews everything out, from alcohol to the feelings of hurt.

Afterwards, she yanked on the dress wanting the smell of alcohol off. Also pulling out multiple pins from her head, she shakes her head to let the brown tresses fall. By the time she's finished divesting of her accessories, she was almost half-dead.

Crawling toward the baths, she hauls herself up and drops heavily into the tub. Filling it with warm water, she submerges herself fully into the steaming wash.

"I don't want to stay here anymore" she whispers, wanting to escape. Escape this reality.

"What's wrong with you now?" A hard voice asks. Turning around, Katniss saw him again; she's dreaming now.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're drenched"

"What?"

"I said, you're drenched. You look as if you just got dunked under water for a couple of times" He gestures around my form.

Sure enough, she is dripping. Katniss laughs at that, "at least its not in alcohol"

He stiffens when he hears her say that "What did you say?" he demanded.

"I said that at least, it isn't alcohol"

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why? Do you prefer to get wet by alcohol or water?"

"Why would you say that?"

"What?" she asked shocked by the anger radiating from his form.

"I mean, you could've just said that it's better to get doused in water than vinegar or something!"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Why alcohol?!" he grabs her arms almost painfully, starting to shake her.

"You're crazy!" Katniss screams to his face, wanting to wake up now. "Let me go!"

"Really? Really? I'll let you go, but tell me why you said alcohol!"

Breathing slowly to calm the volcano that's about to erupt inside her, she looked him straight in his blurred eyes and asked "Are we really arguing about what's the worst liquid to be doused in?"

He paused at that. And before she could mock him on his mood change, he crashed his lips onto hers. Molding his lips onto hers.

Katniss was so shocked that she wasn't able to respond at first. This is different from Peeta's kisses. Her fiancé's pecks were gentle and always asked permission. Tentative and undemanding.

This kiss was the opposite of that. This kiss demanded reciprocation, thus, before long she found herself kissing back with the same ferocity. Pushing and scratching his back, trying to gain footing but she couldn't seem to do it. Her legs were getting weaker with each second that passes by… he touched his tongue to her lips.

She opened her mouth to receive him. The moment that his tongue touched hers, she was further pulled in. After what feels like an eternity, she could feel a fire building. Unlike any she's experienced before. This wasn't fake flames ignited during the parade, this wasn't a backlash from bombs that was dropped in different Districts, and this was far from the ones that Peeta tries so hard to ignite in her.

It started at the base of her stomach and slowly, oh so slowly, creeped up to her chest, neck, and cheeks. But more importantly, it also stayed in her lower body, stoking it into an inferno. Breaking from the kiss, she gasped out and moaned soon after when he attached his mouth onto the base of her neck. Sucking and licking a path from her jaw to her neck and down her collar.

"… wait" she panted, placing both her hands on his shoulders "wait…" it was embarrassing how her breathing became this erratic. Even during hers and Peeta's climax, she was never this out of breath.

He ignored her. He's now trying to lift up her shirt and at the rate they were going, chances are, she'd let him.

However, in a moment of desperation, she pushed him away with all her might, screaming "Stop!" Scrambling away from him, she goes into the other end of the room. Sitting down heavily on the floor, she holds a hand to her chest, pushing down and trying to slow the relentless pounding that's within her heart.

His form was still blurred to her but she imagined that he was having the same problem as hers because she could see the outline of his shoulders moving up and down.

At that moment, she was angry. "What the hell are you doing?" She demanded once she's able to get her bearings together, rubbing her engagement ring with her thumb to remind herself of Peeta.

"Kissing you" He answered straight, which further infuriated her.

Springing up from her prone position, she marched right up to his standing form, glaring up at him "I know what you were doing! I wanna ask why you were doing it?!"

He shrugged "I've been wanting to do that for awhile now. Figured, I'd give it a shot" lifting up a hand, he gently places it on my cheek and rubs a soothing finger up and down to trace the contours of my face.

Katniss slaps his hand away.

"I'm engaged, asshole!"

He chuckles at my reasoning "And so?"

At that moment, she wanted to deck him and since she's always done everything by instinct, she proceeded to do so. He drops down but her hand hurt from the contact.

After rubbing her bruised knuckles for a bit, she places both hands on her waist to stare him down "I'm not cheating on him… you get me?"

He's likewise scowling back at me, supporting himself with his two hands propped behind him "What the hell's wrong with you! Don't tell me that you didn't enjoy it because I know you did"

"That's irrelevant"

"The hell it's irrelevant" He stands up with a speed that shouldn't be possible for someone with his size. Grabbing both my arms, he shakes me a bit "Of course what you feel is important—"

She interrupts him midsentence, "Not when there's other people to consider" running a hand frustratedly through her hair. "Shit! Why am I even arguing about this with you! You're just a figment of my imagination"

He stays silent after that remark, tilting his head to the side to regard me closely "I don't think so… I'm real"

"What are you talking about?" She asked, confused with what he's trying to say. He breathes in deep before answering her.

"I'm real. I'm alive, here in Panem" Katniss stops in shock at what he said but he's not finished yet, to prove it; "the Rebellion won but the Districts hate each other. Everything's a mess… and the Rebellion is at a loss on what to do"

She remained speechless. And after what felt like an eternity, "Wha- who- who are you?" she asks in fear and in that moment, she could see the fog slowly clearing out from his feet going up.

His suede boots were made of an expensive looking black leathery material; his pants were made of a very dark green corduroy with decorative stiches at the bottom. Heading up, his belt was made of solid silver with a familiar carving like crest. His shirt was made of a loose billowy material and cream-colored. From his clothing alone, the man looked rich.

Similar to the pants, the button down shirt had stitchings near the neckline and his sleeves are currently pushed up to showcase his arms, which had a lighter color than mine but looked very solid with muscle.

Going back up, his neck looks thick and his jaw's strong. He has a mark in the middle of his chin (cleft chin). Katniss gulped. That actually looked familiar.

His cheekbones and roman-like nose was also strangely, _scarily_ familiar. But the eyes did it.

They were the same eyes that gazed at her with such hatred during the feast earlier this evening. She gasped in surprised horror and whispered "Cato…"

He looks slightly different but she had no doubt that it's the brute from Two! His hair wasn't spiked anymore and he definitely lost some weight compared to his Hunger Game physique. But it was Cato.

She's been with Cato all this time.

…

It's Fire Girl.

What the hell! You've gotta be kidding! He was able to find the perfect girl for him and it turns out to be the Girl on Fire, the bane of his existence?

From her expression, it seemed the feeling was mutual.

"What the hell are you doing in my dreams, bitch?" He snarled at her. Katniss' answering scowl was familiar.

"I could be asking you the same thing. Get out of my head, brute!" The two of them are now standing close together, each one not backing down. "How did you survive that?" She asked, slightly bewildered, "I remember shooting you and those mutts devouring the rest of your useless carcass"

"It's a state secret, Fire bitch, your Rebellion isn't the only one that has a secret or two up their sleeves" He gloats. Cato wasn't going to say anything more to this girl. He really wants to wake up now.

"If I knew from the start that you're the one plaguing my dreams, I would've resorted to insomnia a long time ago"

"Oh really?" He quirks an eyebrow "that wasn't what you were saying before… you said you liked me, remember?"

"That's before I learned that you're the same man that murdered half of the children in the arena! I don't wanna be here with you anymore!"

Annoyed at her constant reminder of the games, he lashes back "The feeling's mutual! I hate that you're her." That was a slipup and they both knew it because the minute he uttered it, she froze. "You're not the same girl anymore, I don't regret slapping some sense into your stubborn head earlier, you deserved it!"

He started advancing more towards her "Do you know how it looked to the Districts, to see their savior and defender breaking down like that? The Mockingjay dropping down like a fucking drunk!"

Katniss backs away from him, hugging her middle with both arms and muttering silently, "Let me wake up…" over and over again.

Truthfully, Cato's already suspected that Katniss was his dream girl. That alcohol remark was a dead give away. Furthermore, the only girl who actually ever stood up to him was this one but it still smarts that he was attracted to her. And it also didn't help that she found him so repulsive.

Those dreams were his way of venting and he shared almost everything with her; his frustration at having missed the battle between the rebels and Capitol, his District's death tolls due to the bomb, even his mixed feelings about his grandfather. Cato told Katniss everything.

And she did the same.

Either something really wrong is at work here, or something very right.

He's afraid that the latter is more probable.

…

**End of Chapter Six**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games**

"underneath all that denial, you're someone who's deeply, deeply nice."

― David Levithan, _Will Grayson, Will Grayson_

A/N Okay, my head is spinning trying to write in "he or she" as opposed to "I" like in Gladiolus. And I'm pretty sure that my readers are also getting really confused with it. So henceforth, I'll be using first person.

**Chapter 7**

_Cato_

I was destroying my room systematically. This was the first thing I did when I woke. I went straight towards my room to break a lamp, a vase, a paperweight (who the hell needs a paperweight?), and some ornaments scattered on top of my desk.

"Grrrr" Okay, so I growl once in a while when I'm frustrated. It's a habit. After thirty minutes of a full tantrum, I've now settled down on the floor to throw torn pieces of textiles over to the trash bin.

I guess all the ruckus and noise alerted my grandfather because he hurried towards my room, accompanied by his avox entourage or as I like to call it, his minions.

N looked around in consternation "What the hell happened here, Cato?" seeing the ruined artifacts scattered around the room as well as my tattered bedsheets.

"I was in a bad mood" I explained sullenly, remaining on the floor and generally ignoring the minions now cleaning up the mess.

Huffing in annoyance, N sat down on the ruined bed and looked towards him reprimanding. "I know that I'm rich but that's still no reason to be breaking things on a regular basis, son"

I mostly ignored the old man because my mind was stuck on replay with Katniss. How is that possible? It's about a one in a million or even a billion chance that my dreams were coinciding with hers. Despite my initial hatred of the idea, I still couldn't help but recall the good times spent in that dreamworld. And of course, there's also _the_ kiss. That kiss that managed to tilt my world, both reality and dream, upside down… how can she kiss me like that and reject me in the next second? For a moment, I stopped my pacing, straightening my shoulders with a sudden realization:

Never really noticed before but the Girl on Fire is fickle as hell!

I will not be part of the hundred men drooling over her. It's not my style, besides, I'm Cato… well I'm not sure about my surname anymore, but I'm Cato, N's grandson and the sole heir to the enterprise. I don't need the Girl on Fire.

I can have anyone…

Still, I can't seem to shake off the thoughts swirling inside my brain; of mahogany brown and steely grey; tanned skin and flushed cheeks. Katniss.

Surging to my feet, I started pacing the carpeted floor. Furiously reliving that moment when we realized who the other is. There was definite horror in that expression. I'm sure of it. So why am I so affected by that? Our reactions should be the same.

"Cato!" a loud voice broke my concentration. At that moment, I looked around and saw N looking amused.

I threw a sharp "What?" placing both hands akimbo. _What the hell does the old man want now?_

"I've been trying to get your attention for a while now… what's wrong with you?" He asked a bit bewildered.

"What do you mean?" I asked warily, trying to look clueless. Not to be secretive or anything but once N realizes that my dream girl is none other than Katniss, I'm a 100% sure that he'll be ridiculing me for the rest of time.

"It's been a while since you showed this type of temper, and it's too much of a coincidence that this happened just after your treatment" N raises his eyebrow at me and not for the first time do I wish that my grandfather is a bit more senile. N is too sharp for his advanced age.

Shaking my head, I stride over to the dressing room, yanking out a jacket. "I don't wanna talk about it, I'm heading out" Pulling it over my arms as I walked briskly out my bedroom. N followed closely, still badgering me to reveal why I'm so cranky.

Nonetheless, I ignore him and went out the house still fuming and confused. Only the Girl on Fire can do this to my psyche! Seriously, the girl was placed on this earth to antagonize me.

The path that I took was made of bricks, N's estate was vast enough that we actually have a freaking forest in our backyard. It's a bit of an overkill if you ask me but I have to admit that it does have its advantages. Like now when I just want to get away from everything, including the landowner.

We arrived from that disastrous District 12 dinner party at dawn and I was rushed fast to the chamber, so Katniss must've retired early as well from the party to meet me in that dream plane.

The forest is getting thicker now. This forest became my sanctuary now. It was first suggested by Katniss when she told me that she escapes into the forest when reality becomes too much. But for me, it was a way to make me feel closer to my then, mysterious dream girl. Shit again.

It was on our fourth meeting, she told me that she loved the forest; how everything was quiet and the air fresh, so unlike the town in District 12 due to fumes spewing from the coalmines. Katniss also didn't like the Capitol, I still remember her remark that one time;

_It's too busy… there's so much tall buildings that they obscure the sky. I like seeing the sky. _

In that moment, I wanted to take her to this estate and show her the fantastic view. It's located at the top of a hill, with the forest on one side and the sea on the other. You'll be able to smell the saltiness or the freshness of wet leaves depending on the wind's direction. And I wanted to show her both sides.

That was before I knew of her identity. 

So now, the question is, should I ignore her? Just erase her completely from my memory. I could even get N to do it… I'm sure that he definitely has the technology for it, but midway through that idea, I found myself pausing, _why does it feel as if I'm cheating myself of something_… I hate her now but back then, she was the highlight of my day and night for that matter.

Looking down from my high perch, I could vaguely see District 12's fumes. What a terrible District. Standing there for quite some time, I've finally made a decision.

Strolling back to the mansion with purpose on my strides, I bellowed to N, opening the double-doors with a bang. He came running down or as much as he's able to. "What- What's happening, Cato?"

"I wanna go back to District 12" I said straight. I looked at his minions and gestured to them to pack my bags.

My gramps looked gob smacked, I guess I would be too if this was suddenly dropped on me. "What? Why? You hated it there"

"I've got some unfinished business to settle in that dump… I need to go back"

"Why?" And for the first time, I could see some of myself in the old man. He was standing to his full height, which wasn't much but the steely look and determination in those eyes reminded me of myself.

I guess I owed him an explanation. Gesturing to the side room where his study is located, I asked him to keep what I'm about to tell him in confidence. He sits back down in his ornate chair while I slouch in one of the guest chairs meant for guests.

But before that, I poured myself a glass of whiskey to prepare myself.

"You know about _her_, right?" All the while, rolling the glass gently between my hands.

"Your dream girl?" His curiosity is now tweaked. He leans forward in anticipation, reminding me of an eager gossip mongrel like Caesar from the Hunger Games.

Looking at him a bit in irritation, "Yes, it's about her… I saw her clearly for the first time last night"

His eyes widened at my revelation "Oh! And what did she look like? did you know her? Is she real?" Shit, the old man looked excited. I sincerely hope that he's not thinking of future great grandbabies at this point.

I took my time answering, not really looking in his direction, "Yes, she's very very real and… yes, I know her" I don't want to comment on Katniss' features… I mean, I've never been attracted to her during the games but now, I guess she's okay looking, if you're into all that angst.

"You're stalling, dear boy, who's the lucky lady?" My grandfather asked jovially, almost rubbing his two hands together in anticipation. _Shit._

I brace myself for his reaction, either way, it won't make a difference, I'm still going to District 12 "You know her too, you know… and all of Panem know _of_ her as well"

He stops to think about it for a while before his eyes widen and his mouth forms an O in surprised disgust "What!? Don't tell me it's that president! I never knew that you're into…" He gestures towards his laugh lines.

"What!? You're such a pervert, old man, I'm talking about the Girl on Fire!" I exploded, not really getting how he got to that conclusion.

Blessed silence followed my confession. One minute, two minutes, nearing three, I've decided to stand up. I can't stand the silence.

"Wait, wait," His lips started tilting up, I never knew what to make of this man "so you're saying that you're in love with _the _Mockingjay?"

"What- where-" I'm a bit speechless after his remark, gesticulating wildly with my hands, "How the hell did you arrive at that conclusion?" I demanded.

"Well, it was pretty obvious, son… she was all you talked about during the first few months" He leans back and assumes a pose of boredom.

"I talked about nothing! You're just imagining things! I just told you about the girl, I didn't tell you anything else!"

"Well, aren't you?"

"Aren't I what?" I felt like a broken record, asking repeatedly on what he's saying.

"In love with her? You are going to District 12 to be with her, am I correct?"

My mouth opens and closes in silent indignation, glowering down at him. Okay, I've had enough of this freak show. I stood up snottily and looked down at him "I've had enough of this. I'm going to District 12 to get her out of my system. I'm not there to start anything. I just need to remind myself that I hate her"

N remained silent at my statement, looking at me with pity in those eyes so similar to mine, as if he knows of some higher knowledge that's invisible to me. Shaking his head, he laughs a bit and stands up as well.

"Well! I guess, there's nothing more to say then…. Ummm, good luck!" At my pointed look, he further clarified "at getting her out of your system, I mean"

I nodded and turned my back to him, heading for the door.

So I was a bit concerned that once outside the study room, I could hear him laughing uproariously, repeating my statement on "getting her out of his system, my ass! hahahhahha"

Whatever, maybe the man was going senile. I shrugged and went back to my room to order around his minions. My grandfather asked me if he could delay my trip for another week so that he could get someone to set up a house in District 12. It seems that the fumes haven't completely dissipated from that District and it could potentially harm my newly recovered lungs.

I agreed reluctantly but emphasized that I'd be going one way or another by the end of the week regardless if I have to sleep at the entrance of the mining cave.

…

_Katniss_

Sitting up from the tub in shock, the water splashes onto the sides when I abruptly emerged from the bathtub. I breathe uneasily. _What the hell was that?_

Don't tell me that the dream boy that's been haunting me for months is also my most hated enemy in the Hunger Games?

Besides, how did he survive?

Toweling off the water from my body, I shakily step towards the bathroom mirror to look at my reflection. A very pale young woman stated back at me, same eyes, same nose, but the eyes that looked back was quite different. For the first time in what felt like years, I could see something in those grey depths; something more than mourning and sorrow.

I wondered if the Brute was responsible for this. My hands clench as I remembered the hard slap he bestowed to me during the party. _How dare he!_

How dare he barge into my life, barge into my _dreams_, and disrupt everything. Cato has always been a thorn in my side since the parade. He has it out for me and this just proves it because the Brute even followed me in my dreams.

Yanking the comb brutally through my wet tresses, my fury grows. I wanted to get back at him. It was a natural reaction for me when confronted with the brute. During the games, I held his gaze head on and inside the games, I was the only one brave enough to taunt him. I looked into those weirdly colored eyes and basically told him off.

The Brute was different in those dreams, he wasn't the psychopath that tried to kill me in the games… the Brute became… Cato. Just Cato. A boy who's been lied to by his own father, a teenage boy fed to the wolves at the academy to ensure that he'll win, a young man who survived my killing shot.

The one in my dreams was Cato, not the former District 2 Career. Despite my initial disgust and horror at learning his identity, I can't help but look at him in a different light. That young man shared everything with me and I did so as well.

He knew details about me that even Peeta don't, like how I secretly like carnation flowers—the girliest bloom that you'll ever encounter. Peeta usually brings me roses because it symbolizes romance and I actually associated it with him because pink roses were there during their first Victory interview. Unfortunately, roses will also be forever associated to Snow in my sub consciousness.

Cato doesn't like flowers, but he said that back in District 2, there was this tree called the weeping willow. It looked so sad but it was his favorite hiding place when he was young whenever his father came home drunk and looking for an easy target because it had low hanging branches and thick leaves. Growling in irritation at my thoughts, I opened the door forcefully and marched back inside Peeta and my bedroom. The air smells different now, dawn is nearing and Peeta still wasn't back.

Walking to the dresser, I yanked out my usual ensemble of plain pants, dark shirt, and my dad's oversized jacket. As I'm braiding my hair, I wondered briefly what the brute is actually doing. Reaching down to tie it off, I stopped as I stared at my simple hair clip. It was colored purple, no doubt from Cinna's collection.

Cato also reluctantly told me that he liked the color purple because it was always associated with his mother. His last memories of her were of that color. Cinna once told me that the purple color symbolizes dreams, imagination…destiny.

I gulped silently, my throat spasming a bit at the thought. _"If you weren't the girl on fire then I would've dressed you in this color" He whispered that one time during the Victory Tour._

My dream man wasn't supposed to intersect with reality. He was supposed to stay locked there, that's one of the reasons why I was able to open up to him. He wasn't real. So in reality, no one would have that intimate knowledge about me. But he crossed over. The stubborn brute just had to defy me and follow me here in reality.

What a joke that it turns out that my dreams were in fact happening to another person in reality. I mean, what are the chances? A one in a billion, that's what and surprise surprise, it happens to me, I think sarcastically.

Sighing at my thoughts, I chose a different color, an unassuming black, and tied off the braid. I walked down the hall and exited the house just as the first sunrays pierced the clouds. I've already left a note to Peeta saying that I've gone to the forest to think. He's used to it so it wouldn't really be that big of a deal.

Walking fast towards the entrance, I smile a bit at seeing my own personal sanctuary. The air here is unpolluted and the damp leaves because of due added an extra sparkle to everything. _How did I never notice that before? _

Cocking my head to the side, I observed again and noticed a lot of things that usually bypasses me since my sister's death. The ground is of a rich brown similar to my hair color and the bark of some trees is slowly peeling to reveal its new coat. Season is changing.

Shaking off my musings, I wondered where all this philosophical crap came from. Going deeper into the forest, I was startled to see that it turns a brighter green with each kilometer that I pass by.

Going to my meadow, I slumped back down onto the grass and weeds, bending my knees and placing forehead on it. _What the hell is happening to me?_

There are signs that wasn't really present before; first, I blushed and now I'm noticing small things that weren't that relevant before. And I refuse to think that this was because of Cato.

It can't be. I'm still in denial that he was the dream man because though I'm loathe to admit it, I connected with the young man. I've always had a problem with opening up to people, Prim's death further drove that home. I mean, I barely tolerated Gale those initial years and the only thing that made me connect with Peeta was during the Hunger Games. Something about facing death makes you more susceptible to the people around you.

But with Cato… it was different. We weren't fighting for our lives during those dreams. We fight, yes, I remember now. We fight in our dreams, we tease the other relentlessly, and we bonded. I knew and he knew that we couldn't cross that path beyond friendship, so we remained platonic until… last night.

Touching my fingers to my lips, my hands tremble a bit. Is it cheating if I kissed someone other than my fiancé in my dreams? Am I being unfaithful if I feel this deep connection to another person? Groaning, I slap my hands down the ground, pulling at the weeds there and throwing it in front of me. I realized belatedly that they were wild violets.

What is it with that color? Is that a premonition? I stayed that way for a while and noticed that I'm surrounded with the small flowers.

I shouldn't be thinking like this, Cato will never appear in my dreams again, I decided resolutely. My frown deepening with determination, I'll never see him again so there's really no point in agonizing about it.

Unknown to me, the topic of my thoughts is currently packing up for his trip towards District 12 grumbling all the while as he throws clothes and shoes into the luggage.

…

**End of Chapter 7**

A/N Am I moving too slow with this fanfic?


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